About the Author

Aarti is a television personality, chef, cookbook author, news + documentary producer, third-culture kid, and chaser of the polyglot palate. She's fascinated by the fact that Jesus knew how to cook and spends way too long imagining what's going to be on the table at the heavenly feast. She's married...

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  1. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for this beautiful, empathetic, encouraging, Right on the money inspirational post. There are many days that I still feel 11 and I am 55 years old. This week was a compare and despair party of one. I retreated into myself, only spoke when i was spoken. If anything else I would have said something that I would have regretted and/or worse break into tears. Honestly, I did shed a few tears and sniffled into a Kleenex tissue or two. And yes that advice of stop comparing yourself to others does not work. Heck it makes it worse. However after reading this I am so glad that I am not alone and that God’s validation is all I need, my imperfection, my moods and my heart. In his eyes, I am worthy, held, loved and welcomed to join him any time any day and any meals. His voice is all I need to hear and listen to. Aarti, thank you for this beautiful, empathetic encouraging, inspirational and right on the money post. I needed this. God knew I needed this. All it took was for me to click on the incourage bookmark. Now I am encouraged. Amen! Hallelujah!

    • Beautifully written Arti. Couldn’t agree more especially with the friends leaving you behind at school.Comparision of ourselves and others is inborn I believe even at 43yr.old I still do it. I feel silly,yes but in the next moment I move on realizing that other individuals may have their own concerns. We’re all searching for our perfect something. Witch just simply doesn’t exist. Kendra

  2. Aarti what you wrote is so lovely. Thank you so much. It lovely to see new faces on incourage. My God bless you as you write what he has you to write for him to help people like me grow in his word. Grow closer to Jesus. What we have to do is keep our eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. Especially in these days. Yes it not easy. When the world is so full of evil. People our there doing wrong. No one seems to care about Jesus. They just care about themselves. There own world. Some people do care which is nice. But it sad that people who don’t care that they wouldn’t go the extra mile to help someone in need. Like Jesus did in the Bible. We the saved are the Church the hand and feet of Jesus. We are the ones that have to be helping those in need especially in theses days we are living in. If we can help someone. Jesus will bless us. We feel so much better in ourselves for doing it. Even if it is only a phone call. Are if passing knocking someone door to say I going to shops do you need anything. I do things for my Dad who is 80 year old. He is no saved. I pray for his Salvation. But he glad of the help. I am not perfect. But I do all I do in love for my Dad on Jesus. But I glad I done what I done for my Dad and on to Jesus. I can rejoice knowing Jesus is pleased with me for doing it. Not being caught up in my own world that I haven’t time to do things for my Dad. But only visit him. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx

  3. Such a blessing to read this Mother’s Day weekend when, for me and many others, this comparison will be in overdrive! Jesus knows and loves me – my good enough is good enough.

    Thank you!

  4. Amen sister! Thanks for the insight of how natural comparison is & the positive side of it. Blessings!

  5. Thank you precious lady. I’ve had many of the same struggles but with God’s help am growing even at 80+years of age. We must strive to always move forward or we go backwards. I remember a pastor saying that because there is no such thing as staying in same place. God bless you and your family as you minister to others in so many ways.
    ❤️Betsy

  6. Thank you Aarti for speaking directly to my heart and more than likely countless other women’s hearts too! I struggle so much with the comparison game as well and I had never considered comparison as an inherent characteristic in all humans that we just need to train to focus on Jesus rather than each other. I admire your faith, courage, and spirit for positive change! Thank you! ❤️

  7. I do not even know where to begin. I was that child and am that adult. I play the compare game every day of my life. At the store, at church, every where I go. I am not pretty enough, smart enough, fun enough the list goes on and on. No one could ever like me because there are better people out there than me. Even after being married for 23 years I still feel my husband could have done better (he does not think so). I actually prayed last night for the Lord to take my fears. Been listening to Zach Williams Fear is a Liar a lot and praying a lot about this and then here your are writing about me, giving me hope. Thank you so very much for this wonderful story.

  8. Make the Trinity your best friends and you will never go wrong. The Lord your God will go with you wherever you go. School years are lots of comparisons that make life difficult for young girls trying to figure out their gifts, talents, and personality. The popular crowd scared me too, but you have to train your mind to be the very best you can be, because you are unique, fearfully and wonderfully made. Happy Mothers Day tomorrow, the weather forecast in Indiana is rain all day with a high of 49 degrees!

    • Connie, I am interested in your phrase, “…you have to TRAIN your mind to be …”. Out of curiosity I am wondering how have you done this ‘training ‘?

      • I neglected to say how inspiring your message is for me, Aarti. I have way too many ‘comparing’ thoughts rumbling in my brain, at the moment. So, to gather them together right now and then write them into some kind of meaningful comment seems to be trapping my ability to writing them down.

  9. Aarti,
    Thank you for this. I can’t wait to share it with my teenage daughter. “Fixing our eyes on Christ transforms us into his likeness…” Your ministry is such an inspiration!
    Mary-Lyons

  10. Thank you for sharing your heart in this beautiful post, Aarti. It is SO easy to compare ourselves and our paths with others. I’m grateful for the reminder to look up and for the encouragement below.

    “I pray that His sweet correction will right the wrong perspectives of my heart and reassure me that even in my brokenness, He will use what could have been used for evil and transform it for good.”

    Blessings, Elizabeth

  11. Yes! Redemption is the goal. I agree that comparing ourselves to others can be away God is showing us role models in a way of discipling us. Iron sharpens iron, right? And maybe if we see God working in other peoples lives, we can believe he will do the same in ours.

  12. So good!! I’ve always felt these insecurities as a Christian but the way you explained not to compare to anyone but to compare my actions and reactions to Jesus was such a simple thought to keep with me. Thank you I really enjoyed your devotional and look forward to more

  13. Wow! Someone that was the same as I was growing up. I always walked to school alone. Played alone. I would get picked on all the time because of my glasses and what I wore and because I was alone.
    Have I found the grace of God yet no! I am also the black sheep of my family. Not on my own doing I will tell you. Coming from divorced parents was tough. O lived with my mom who was never home. My sister and brother lived with my dad who was always around for them.
    As an adult it’s the same way. My kids are treated differently by both my parents. It sucks! I was also what I call an oh! No I an pregnant baby. My parents were seniors in high school. Not sure if that matters? Also my mom was more interested in staying at her boyfriends house than home. So again I was alone alot. Maybe that’s why I have only 1 or 2 friends. Everyone else I keep to myself. I am in a marriage for 26 years where it’s been alot of struggle. Covid-19 hasn’t made it better. I have come to believe that God has me in this life for a reason . I haven’t found it yet. I love my kids but I raise them alone. No help from my husband. We own a business that has another struggle in our marriage. My son has recently been diagnosed with ADHD after a severe head trauma while camping. It’s been rough. Bit so glad to see someone overcome it like you have.
    Thanl you
    Tammy Pelkey
    Cohoes NY 12047

    • Lord Jesus, thank You for Tammy. Please wrap around her and be her Everlasting Father and Perfect Bridegroom. Amen.

    • Tammy,

      Abba Father please help Tammy with self defeating thoughts. Show her that she is loved, cared for & wanted by you. Wrap your loving arms around her & make her feel secure. Change her husband’s heart to want to be with her & help raise their children. Erase all the pains of the past & give her a bright future.

      AMEN!

      Blessings 🙂

  14. “When we compare ourselves to each other, we use earthly things to fill a divinely-hewn hole; they can never fully satisfy the emptiness.” Wow, Aarti, I’ve never thought about it like this before! So so good. Thank you for offering us the gift of your vulnerability and inviting us into the journey with you of becoming more like Jesus. His tenderness and transformation will never let us down! What a JOY to have you here at (in)courage, friend.

  15. Aarti, I’ve never thought about responding to comparison this way—thank you for sharing part of your own story with such honesty! I’m so glad you are part of (in)courage.

  16. This was so much needed Aarti! Thank you for letting our Father use you to help others. What a huge blessing to read this today. God bless you and Happy Mothers Day!

  17. This was a much needed reminder for me today. Over the past few years, the Lord has been showing me in various ways how often I am “placing too much emphasis on what people think of me” instead of listening to what He says about me. I love your perspective on comparing ourselves to Christ instead comparing ourselves to other people. Thank you so much!

  18. Yes and Amen to this article! If we turn our eyes upon Jesus, if we look vertically we ARE transformed from glory to glory!! Great article

  19. Wow, Aarti, this really hit me. I’m right in the middle of your first section right now, in high school and constantly worrying that I’m too quiet, I don’t have enough social media, I opt out of too many social events in order to do homework or just rest, for my friends to actually stay friends with me. I carry around some baggage from when half my friends got boyfriends Freshman year and just disappeared until the boyfriends graduated, and I forget that now they’re around and engaged. But more than that, God is my best Friend, and my worth comes from Him. Thank you so much for this reminder that He sings over me! Blessings!

    • Emily, I hear you, love. Isn’t it ironic that if we measure ourselves by mere mortals, we never feel like we’re enough… but when we measure ourselves by the Perfect One, Christ, we find PEACE? What freedom. Sending you love and blessings, friend. Press on.

  20. So very timely and spot on. It seems like you’ve been reading my mail this week! As a divorced mom it’s inevitable that I compare myself to the new person in my ex’s (and more importantly) my kids’ lives. I’ve been praying that God would help me keep my eyes on Him especially this weekend when I can be so easily distracted. And wouldn’t Satan love to spoil MY time with my precious children by me worrying about things I can’t control. Thank you Artie for reminding me that I am not alone. God bless you!

  21. Aarti, it seems you’ve been spending a lot of time inside my own head, as so much of what you share here resonates deeply with my experiences. I am going to remember your advice to stop and take a breath. Instead of retreating inward, look upward. Yes and amen.

    Thank you for this–truly!

    And thank you for being a part of this family here ~ you are an incomparable gift to us all.

  22. Aarti, LOVED your fresh perspective on comparison!

    I’m saving this quote as a daily reminder….

    “Instead of trying to quash my instincts to compare myself to others, I will compare myself to Perfection Himself. In doing so, I pray that His sweet correction will right the wrong perspectives of my heart and reassure me that even in my brokenness, He will use what could have been used for evil and transform it for good.”

    Can’t wait to read more from you via (in)courage! Blessings!

  23. Aarti, your devotion spoke so deeply into my spirit for I too spent many wasted years on the comparison game to no avail, for only Jesus can bring true happiness, and self-worth. Thank you for keeping it real. God’s blessing’s to you on “Mother’s Day”. ⚘

  24. Aarti! I’m a huge Food Network fan and you’ve always been one of my favorites. Your post really does reflect what I see on TV. You’re always so modest and surprised when you win contests etc. You’re awesome! Don’t forget that. 🙂

  25. True!!
    My husband has compared me so many times with other women, mostly if they have a job!! I am a stay home mom of two and one of them is special. A daily routine is already challenging but addition to covid at the end of the day, it’s so exhausting!!
    I try my best to remain positive for my , my girl and for my self! I wish you all the best in NC, God bless your beautiful family!

    • This resonated so deeply within me. In the past I never really compared myself to others, however in the age if social media, it is a constant comparison. It is so exhausting.

  26. True!!
    My husband has compared me so many times with other women, mostly if they have a job!! I am a stay home mom of two and one of them is special. A daily routine is already challenging but addition to covid at the end of the day, it’s so exhausting!!
    I try my best to remain positive for my kids and for my self! I wish you all the best in NC, God bless your beautiful family! Happy Mother’s Day!

    • Neil, I’m so sorry that’s happening to you. I am praying God gives you Teflon skin… so no matter how many times your husband compares you to other women, nothing sticks but the words God has to say to you. ❤️❤️❤️

  27. You are just like me or i am just like me! Thank you for this article. I totally relate! Many blessings!

  28. I can totally relate! Thank you for sharing your most vulnerable thoughts. When I get down from comparing myself to others, I tell myself STOP! I do not want to be like others. I am who I am and am thankful God made me an introvert, an HSP (highly sensitive person). Actually, I don’t want to be like anyone else. 🙂 And yes, I can relate to the “friend” thing, too.

  29. Beautiful love the positivity, such a challenge at time not to compare ourselves to
    Others. I’m in a workout accountability group and when I joined 8 years ago I was always comparing myself but as years went on I stopped and it was the best feeling ever. Thank you for sharing

  30. We are taught as kid’s to compare are self with others, mother’s compare there children to each other teacher’s compare 1 child to another. We as people are always going to compare are shelves to someone else. We just have to remember we are all perfect in god’s eyes, no one is better then the other not me not you not the guy struggling with drug addiction, we all put are pants on one leg at a time. So the next time u find yourself comparing yourself to another chef, tv personality or whomever just remember they are no better then you and they could be comparing themselves to you.

  31. I love it. It reminds me of me. I think all of us at some point compare ourselves to others and feel we are not good enough. Yes you are definitely right God made us in His image, so lets us compare ourselves to Him who made us. We will never come close to His goodness,but He will never compare us to anyone. We can all try to be and do better.

  32. Your note was exactly what I needed to “hear” today. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and mind. It was so helpful – I’m grateful for the reminder to compare myself to Perfection. It’s comforting to know that you share the same struggles – you who I look at and see as someone with such joy. I have watched you for years on the Food Network and am always so blessed by your joy and countenance. I was so glad when I discovered on Facebook that your light comes from a relationship with Jesus! You are an encouragement to me! You are a blessing.

  33. Thank you for sharing I think everyone does this comparing. It can sometimes drive you mad. It really made me stop and think!

  34. Amen! Thank you so much for your candidness and realness. I always compare myself to others in every relationship i am in. It is so a part of who we are, it won’t end. But, i can redirect the comparison. Way to go Aarti!

  35. Thank you for your words of wisdom from Jesus, Himself! So much love and so many prayers for you and your family! ❤️

  36. Aarti,

    This world makes it easy to compare ourselves to others. They give awards & applause yet we may not be the recipients. Pastor Steven Furtick had this to say I don’t have to be upset about the gifts God didn’t give me if I’m fully maximizing the ones He did give me. All I’ve got to do is completely commit my heart to God’s purpose for me. Basically don’t compare yourself to others. Just do what God has for you & leave the rest to Him.

    If you must compare then always compare through the lens of Jesus. Don’t worry about what others say about you. He thinks you are wonderful & sings over you.

    Blessings 🙂

  37. This is perfect in all the right ways. Thank you for the words we all need to hear. Compare ourself to Christ so we can try to be like him in this life. It is amazing how much love, compassion, grace and so much more he has for each of us. And God made us each unique to his liking and need to be thankful and embrace it. I love God and will shout it as loud as I can. He does amazing things in your life if you allow him too. God is always good!

  38. Excellent! We are uniquely and wonderfully made. How can we not be barraged by feelings of inadequacy, feeling on the outside looking in. Social media feeds that monster ever minute, everyday. Fixing our eyes on Jesus is our only hope in finding out who we truly are. Surrendering daily. Laying down our thoughts and allowing Jesus and the Holy Spirit to guide us into our daily life assignments. My story is deep, and has caused me to feel less than most of my life. I still struggle with feelings of failure. However, I know that Jesus has me, he never let’s go of me. He adores me and has a future and a hope for me. For all of us. Thank you, for such a wonderful read. And thanks for letting me reach out before my back surgery. Jesus has been so good to me through my recovery. I am back to work and back in my kitchen cooking. I always told my middle school youth group that God is good all the time. Not just in the easy times.

  39. Aarti, I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. You’ve given us the gift of a different perspective that turns our hearts t outward and upward towards the One who lavishes His incomparable love and grace on our wounds and wanting hearts.

    As I read your words, I was reminded of a lifetime of debilitating comparisons, the stabbing pain and wounds no one can see. And although I’ve gotten better at noticing when my self-rejection kicks in, your post helped me recognize that a steady flow of subtle comparisons still plays like white noise in the background of my mind, more than I realized. I feel His affection through Your words, the Father lifting my chin to help me see His eyes are on me. There’s more freedom He wants for this heart of mine, and I’m really grateful for your courage that helped me that today.

  40. Beautifully written. The first thing I noticed when I saw your picture is “what a beautiful smile”. It made me smile back.

  41. I couldn’t begin to imagine that someone with your stature and fame could feel this way but whose to say that the same feelings can’t be shared by someone like you and someone like me.

    Your perspective opened my eyes. I enjoyed this article so much for I thought I was the only one who felt this way.

    Thank you for writing this article. It made me think of Jesus’ point of view and His despair over me not turning to Him when I feel like this.

  42. I have long been a fan of Arti! Now I know what I have been admiring in her….the beauty, grace, and love of Jesus!

  43. Aarti,

    You delighted me with your post, and oh, so true. This Mother’s Day has been a struggle for me. It’s easy when at church carnations are handed out to moms and I, the childless woman, is one of the very few who does not get one from someone. It’s been a conscious struggle to not compare myself to the moms out there and see myself as “less than” simply because I have fur babies and no human children.

    Thank you for your post.

  44. I have been waiting for this to come out as soon as I saw on Instagram that you are now a contributing writer! I am 50 but could easily be 11 again just like you. I think some of my introversion is actually fear that I won’t measure up. Thank you for your candid words about your feelings and how comparison isn’t wrong as long as we are comparing ourselves to our Heavenly Father and what He says about each of us who are “wonderfully made”! I absolutely love you and your family! Thank you for being so transparent and outspoken about your faith. I am inspired by you.

  45. This was a great read! I’ve always struggled with what I call friend jealousy. I have this gift (previously thought more of a curse) of bringing people together. The issue I had with this was, I often was the one who got left out after the people hit it off. A boyfriend I was madly in love with left me for one of my best friends, I brought two best friends together and they became best friends and I stopped getting invited as much, and so on. I couldn’t understand why I was never good enough to be kept around to those people and was so hurt from each time I introduced people and this happened. I figured out though, in some cases it was just the people and had nothing to do with me. Other cases, those people needed each other and could offer things I couldn’t. I had to change my perspective from being the victim to being the one who helped other’s form bonds. It was hard, sometimes, I still struggle with it and have to banish the bitterness that tries to creep in, but I know this is a gift that was given to me to use to make positive impacts on people’s lives. Sometimes we have seasons of friendships too, some have come back around and feel stronger than ever, others you let go and wish them well on their ventures. The people who are supposed to stick around will and the ones who go were meant to. It’s all a part of His plan.

  46. Thank you, Aarti! I needed this today. I have always loved watching you on cooking shows both as a judge and a competitor. Now I look at you with different eyes as I will also look at those around me with a different lens. You are spot on with looking up and remembering that we are who God created us to be.

  47. Aarti, I’m so thrilled to see you as a writer on this site!!! You are one of my favorite chef’s on t.v. & I love to hear you talk & share about anything!!! I’m 66 years old & loved this devotional. I wish I would have heard this years ago & just keep my eyes on Jesus & yearn to be more like Him!!! I’m a Jewish believer & so thankful God opened my eyes to Him when I was 16 years old.

    I love to cook too & try new recipes! I have a daughter-in-law too that loves to cook & we’re starting to do other nationalities for dinners.

    Aarti, I would have loved to be your friend back in school, although we’re quite a bit years apart! I had told my children growing up to reach out to those sitting by themselves & be a friend to them.

    Lord bless you as you have your hands full with a wonderful husband, beautiful children & a wonderful career!
    Barbara

  48. Deeply moved by these ‘human’ words and thoughts, so much more believable than ‘goody goody’ trite remarks!

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