About the Author

Kaitlyn is a Virtual Assistant, book launch manager, and storyteller who writes about discovering God's goodness in the ordinary and faithfulness in the difficult. She loves good books, deep conversations, and iced vanilla lattes. Kaitlyn is the author of Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between.

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  1. Kaitlyn,
    What a powerful post. Lately, I have been wrestling with these same questions and wondering, “Even, if this situation never changes, will I cling to the fact that God is good?” I believe that I have wanted to finish the scripture in Isaiah 40:31 this way, “They that wait upon the Lord, will get what they want….” That, however, is not what scripture promises. They that wait will renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. A good friend of mine and I, together, have prayed for our adult children. We’ve prayed particularly that they would turn from their ways and put their faith in the Lord. Together, we believed in the awesome God-glorifying testimony we would tell when that happened. This past month, her daughter, whom we’d prayed earnestly for, overdosed on narcotics and passed away at the age of 28. This was not how this story was supposed to end. Even if….even if what we wait for doesn’t come to pass, God is still good. God will still bring beauty from the ashes. God will redeem what the enemy stole. We may not see it in this life, but in eternity there will be answers that all make sense. This event has greatly challenged my way of thinking. I’ve been asking myself, “Will I still believe…will I still trust….even if what I’ve waited and prayed for doesn’t come to pass?” Ultimately, I know that Christ is victorious, praying for strength to make it through the Saturdays. Thanks for a post that spoke to my heart.
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • Bev,
      I am deeply sorry to hear of your friend’s painful loss. I hope and pray for you both to feel God’s love and comfort.
      With love and blessings,
      Penny

    • Oh my goodness… I am so sorry to hear this, Bev. I echo Penny’s comment about praying you’ll both feel God’s love and comfort. I’ve often been struck by the last part of the verse you mentioned… and I wonder if maybe sometimes walking is harder than running. The slow, steady continuing on. He promises to be our strength, our enough, in both. Running and walking with you here.

    • MY CHILDREN ARE ALSO ON BAD PATHS THIS STORY TOUCHED MY HEART WHEN WE ARE IN THE ( THE IN- BETWEEN ) IS WHEN GOD HOLDS US TIGHT. I AM SORRY YOU LOST A DAUGHTER. AFTER THEY ARE ADULTS WE CAN NOT CONTROL WHAT THEY DO

    • Bev,

      Praying for you children as well. May God soften their hearts & turn them back to Him. Also praying for you as you wait in this messy in-between. We must keep praying one more time. You never know when God will work in the lives of others. Praying for you & your problems as well!!

      ((((((Hugs))))))

  2. Thank you, Kaitlyn, for these Saturday-words. While we wait and wonder, we know Who is beside us, and He bears our sorrows, well-acquainted with grief. So thankful for a Saturday Savior.

  3. Kaitlyn, we attended a celebration of life yesterday for a man 66 years young – who lived life full and rich. He served others and loved Jesus the best. He left a wife and two adult daughters. His favorite song? “Even If” by Mercy Me. The worship team sang that as the service ended. I cannot get it out of my head. “Even if You don’t – my hope’s in You alone” (I think I got the words correct). His earthly ministry is over but I believe with all my heart his testimony will continue to reach many. Heaven becomes sweeter, once again. xo

    • The first time I heard that song on the radio, my jaw dropped. I’ve had several friends send it to me since it first released, all saying “Listen to this! It’s your book!” Ha. 🙂 Even if… even if…

      • Kaitlyn, consider yourself a trend setter!! I started using the term cuppa many years back and now everyone says it. “Imitation is the best form of flattery!”

  4. Such a powerful post. I’ve been wrestling with my own what if’s and trying to hold on to the promise of God’s faithfulness. God is not done writing our stories and he will answer us we just have to make it through the Saturdays!

  5. Wow! This was really beautiful and truly resonated with me this morning. Thank You!

  6. I love this Kaitlyn! I think about the in-between often because to be honest I spend a lot of time here. I wonder why I’m “still waiting”. Shouldn’t I have arrived by now. There is less life ahead of me than what trails behind.

    But in the middle I have learned the most. Life is still happening and God is still working. Most days I wouldn’t trade it, but on the days I’m anxious for what’s next, I remind myself I am blessed because God has never left my side. Thank you for your words.

  7. Kaitlyn,
    Thank for giving words to explain the darkness I have been feeling. I felt like this is going to be the theme of my life.
    I love this season, this time of the year. But stuff, “Life” has been overtaking and overwhelming me so I did not recognize me. I will whisper every day, every hour, every minute, “even if.”

    • Oretha, I’m so glad you commented here today. And I’m terribly sorry to hear of the weight, the heaviness you’re feeling. I hope that you have safe people or a counselor you can reach out to, and I’m praying that Light breaks through more and more each day. I’ve been encouraged lately by the thought that so many things grow in the dark spaces and quiet places, and yet darkness is not dark to Him.

  8. I’m in a very terrible, frightening in-between time. I barely know how to cope and hold on much less cling to hope. I want so much to be able to say “even if not” and truly mean it. But right now fear is lurking in the darkness.

    Thank you for this very timely message and prayers for healing.

    Rebecca

    • Hi Rebecca, thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment. I’m glad you’re here! I hope that you have a safe friend or loved one that you can talk through in this in-between time. If not, know that it’s a sign of strength (not weakness) to ask for help. You aren’t alone, and I am praying for you today.

  9. Here I am, awake at 4:30 AM living through another “Saturday”. I just picked up my phone to check the time and this post popped up. Not sure how but there it was Since our only daughter passed away suddenly last July we’ve been full of questions and holding onto God’s promises with the little strength we have. Thank you for your post. It’s another bit of evidence that the Lord is with us even when we don’t feel it and even if Sunday isn’t here yet. God bless you.

    • Linda,

      Sweet sister I’m praying for you & your hubby. Losing a loved one is hard enough much less your only daughter. May God send His strength to help you endure. May you feel His loving arms surrounding you sending hugs. This life is so full of questions we will never understand until we get to Heaven. I pray you feel His peace & comfort surrounding you always!! He is there with you through this terrible time.

      ((((((Hugs))))))

  10. I love that you wrote a post about the Saturday after Good Friday and before Easter. I’ve often found myself in this waiting season, I have a list I call my “Big 7” which are 7 prayers that are waiting on the Lord for an answer. And honestly, sometimes it seems so overwhelming that I don’t even pray for the prayers on the list. Your post encouraged me to press in and to be diligent, even in the uncomfortable waiting period. Thank you for sharing your heart!

  11. I have been living in the Saturday for a few years. My heart is broken. My strength is failing. I have yelled at God. I have blamed God. I have prayed, cried, prayed some more, immersed myself in the Psalms, and…have been waiting. I know that my situation is not how God intended it to be. God desires reconciliation, but the free will he gave means reconciliation doesn’t always come. It is painful, painful beyond words. There has not been a day in the last few years that I haven’t cried. That is not an exaggeration…it is the honest truth. I have fallen into a dark pit. A very dark pit. It is only in the last month or so that I have seen the smallest glimpse of light. It appears, then fades, and appears again. I feel like I am on a teeter totter with darkness in the form of a human on the other side of me. He is a master at keeping me at the bottom, unable to push hard enough to get off the ground and move upward toward the light. Saturday. My mind tells me Sunday is coming, but my heart is weary. Remember the story of Moses as the leader of the Israelites? They were in a battle, and as long as Moses had his arms up towards Heaven, the Israelites were winning. If his arms went down, the battle turned against them. Eventually, Moses’ arms got tired, and he was unable to keep them raised. As the Israelites once again began to lose the battle, Aaron and Hur came and held Moses’ arms up so the battle would once again turn in their favor. I love that picture…but I have no Aaron and Hur to “hold my arms up”. So, in Saturday I sit, hoping that someday soon Sunday will come…before the darkness swallows me completely.

    • Becky you do have the greatest help of all to hold you up!
      Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

      I just lifted you up and prayer. I hope you receive God gift of strength peace and comfort today

    • Becky, thank you for sharing a piece of your story here. I appreciate your honesty, vulnerability, and *bravery!* As I read through your comment, I was reminded of different situations and relationships that have had me face on the floor, crying out for healing and reconciliation. One of the things I’ve learned over time is that reconciliation doesn’t always happen, but redemption is always possible. (Easy to write… much harder to live out.) I wrote a little bit about that in my March post here at (in)courage, but it’s something I’m continually re-learning.

      You mentioned that you don’t have someone in the flesh, and I’d really encourage you to reach out to a counselor. Asking for help and reaching out isn’t a sign of weakness… it’s a sign of bravery and courage. I know it’s not the same as an in-real-life person, but I’m lifting you up in prayer today like Aaron and Hur. You are not alone. He is with you, and He will fight on your behalf (Exodus 14:14).

  12. This is exactly where I live! Thank you for the reminder that we may focus on now but He knows the end.

  13. A very timely word of encouragement. My heart has been wrestling so much with this very thing….how to live faithfully in the “in between”….especially when I feel hurt and weary and lonely. So, thank you. Thank you for being faithful in your wrestling so that you could share your journey and this truth with me.

  14. I am living in Saturday right now; words can’t even express what is happening. I do know this, Sunday is coming and I rejoice in that. Where would I be without that promise? I can’t imagine. Thank you for your encouraging words and for the reminder that His sure hope will carry me through.

  15. Thanks you for this post! My husband and I have been going through a very long Saturday; over 5 years of disappointment and loss and suffering mentally, physically, and financially and I too have asked myself even if will I continue to trust in Him and His goodness and His plan for our lives. I want to be able to say yes even if…praying for the endurance and grace to continue our Saturday journey believing Sunday is coming in His time frame not mine.

  16. Kaitlyn,
    Thank-you for sharing this with us today, and for making it so relateable. I too am living in the “even if.” Only God foresees what lies ahead, even if it’s not what I thought it was going to be, I’m learning to accept it.
    I hope that you all have a blessed day,
    Penny

  17. Kaitlyn, thank you for sharing the hope of Jesus in your honest and tender words. Waiting for what comes next in my marriage has left me hopeless. Our hope is in Him, no matter what the outcome.

  18. I found your book … again … while going through my books from unpacking. Can you tell this unpacking thing is taking me forever? Hahahaha. Okay, so I’ve only been in my new cocoon for a little over a month. I cannot wait to read it! And it’s April, so does this mean you are FINALLY resting??? I love your emails and I love your posts. You are such an authentic writer. Thank you for your ministry {even if it’s changing:)}.

    • Packing and unpacking are such a process, aren’t they?! Especially, at least for me, the unpacking. Maybe you’ll be able to dive in around Easter! Yes to rest… I just sent out an email this morning about that exact thing. Ha – perfect timing! And I think I see an email from you waiting for me in my inbox. Heading over there now… 🙂 Thank you for your kind words about my writing.

  19. You know a song that comes to mind in that reading as I read it. You may not have heard it before do take time to listen to it. You get it on Youtube. It is Here I am to worship. Here is one line in the song. Light of the world you came down into darkness. It is talking about Jesus coming down to our world shinning his light in our darkness in our mess. To set us free. Thank you for an excellent message. Love Dawn God Bless xxxx

    • Yes, I’ve heard it! Funny enough, that was the “theme song” of summer camp my fourth grade year. Whenever I hear it I always immediately feel like I’m back in those cabins.

  20. We live so much of life in the middle! We don’t know the outcome but we do know that God walks us through and that His promises hold true. I have seen that for sure — a different outcome than I ever wanted, but God’s sustaining grace and provision and mercy in the outcome He ordained.

  21. Thank you so much for the article. I have never heard it explained this way. It perfectly describes the Saturday, in-between time I find myself in again. I recently lost my job and have been praying and looking for another but so far have not found another one and we have very little money and are about to lose our car and my daughter’s health insurance.
    I am also going to try and get a copy of your book for my daughter. She was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia and is in so much pain and exhausted all the time. She works 4 hours a day but it takes so much out of her. While in pain last night she said she did not know how much longer she could take the pain. She is so young and it takes so much from the life you expected to have. Your book sounds like it may be the encouragement to keep going she needs. God Bless

    • Andrea, send me a message! I’d be happy to mail a book your way and cover the shipping so you don’t have to worry about the shipping cost from a retailer. xo

  22. “And so I did the only thing I knew to do — I lit a candle to defy the darkness, and then I reached for a piece of a paper and a pen. Tears splattered down and smeared the ink, but I kept writing until I really and truly meant it.

    Even if not. Even if not. Even if not.” So beautifully said and lived, Kaitlyn. I’m encouraged by your faith and words today. xx

  23. Dear Sister..Saturday was so beautifully crafted and struck numerous chord with me..my life and msnubif my loved one. I never really considered Saturday of passion week, yet it wasnt skipped over yo rushed by..m.God is at work, even when I cant see it or even feel or think it! Thank you for sharo g the Saturday sadness, waiting and sorrow that God knows and cares about. How loving is our Heavenly Father, Gracious Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ. May the Holy Spirit give you comfort and peace, that is promised and sealed!

  24. The in-betweens are the hardest to stay hopeful. Goodness I remember my many in-betweens in this life and at times I feel as if I am still in that area, stuck and waiting for Sunday. I love our kids and both my hubby and I had taught them the word of God and brought them up as best as we could and yet, our oldest son is refusing to attend church with us now that he is an adult. He will turn 24 this year and it has been almost 5 years since he has attended church with us. I feel as if I had failed him somehow, somewhere. He’s an overall good kid. He is still living at home, pays rent to us and continues to work fulltime. I understand this is a season of his life that he may be trying to find his path/purpose and I am hopeful that he will be reminded of God’s word of truth and look towards Him. I know I will continue to pray for him daily and one day he will return. Thank you for sharing this message.

  25. Kaitlyn,

    A poignant & powerful post!! For most of my life I never really thought about Saturday of Easter week. Jesus was down in tomb & the harrowing of hell. It is a dark day for most Christians. Symbolic of life down here. We have problems/trials-cancer diagnosis, loss of job, health issues, financial issues & we don’t know or understand the outcome. We are living in the messy middle between two Edens. Our hearts are yearning for something better. It is hard living between Good Friday & Easter Sunday, especially if we don’t know the outcome. Even if the situation doesn’t change-we can be sure that Jesus is with us through it all. He is there to comfort us & guide us on our journey. One day we will have all the answers. Until then we must proclaim “even if” & trust God with the outcome!

    Blessings 🙂