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(in)courage is a place where authentic, brave women connect deeply with God and others. In the middle of your unfine moments and ordinary days, you are invited to become a woman of courage.

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  1. Lisa-Jo,

    Emily P. Freeman in her book Grace for the Good Girl talks about taking off the masks we wear. Being authentic & real. Quit saying fine. Personally I’m tired of hearing fine. I want to know how you’re really doing-deep down-the hurts & disappointments that hit you. By not telling me you are robbing me of the joy & privilege of praying for you. I might also chime in a “me too”. It is high time to open up our messiness & show our friends our true selves.

    I am blessed to belong to a little church where people aren’t always fine. They come clean to the vulnerable self. Even the pastor’s wife opens up about stuff. It help get the conversation started & lets us know we don’t have to perfect down here in the messy middle between two gardens.

    Blessings 🙂

  2. A wise woman once told a me that a response of “fine” when asked how one feels is really… “Feelings Inside Not Expressed” (FINE). I’ve never forgotten that.

  3. Lisa Jo, We are are using your book, Never Unfriended, in our ladies Bible study (in Cape Town, S.A.). Different ladies are teaching different chapters, which gives us a little bit of a unique take on each chapter. I came to the conclusion that – “How are you?” isn’t really a legitimate usually. It’s more of a greeting, “Hello, how are you?” – said in one breath. I knew a man (an elder in the church who was one of the best servants I knew) who informed all that he would not ask somebody how they are unless he was willing to listen to what they had to say.

    • Martha,

      Thank you for your honesty – this is what I have discovered especially in college – people ask how are you, but only as a form of greeting, not to hear what someone has to say. Its very sad, the way todays culture has transformed words and phrases and lost their true meaning of care and concern. Its caused me to withdraw sadly, and not share how I am with anyone and even when they ask to say the usual I’m fine, because the other party clearly is not interested in the true response. Hopefully we can individually be a part of changing that and returning to the true forms of greeting and asking after ones wellbeing. Its great that you are studying this book!

  4. How true – I have for a few weeks decided to buy this books for a good friend of mine and for myself if I can spare one. I have struggled with this fake mask of being fine, almost everyday especially through college. This probnlem ios not only for the western hemisphere I do know, but as a missionary kid (MK) I have been to a few countries where or the most part, people are more than willing to share truly their problems, almost too openly (where sometimes it turns clearly to complaining all the time) but nevertheless have been open. And so having grown up in these environments, I found it particularly stifling and hard to come back to the States for college, and feel that I must too, appear to be “fine” or “good”, because everyone around me would give these automatic answers. I thought, am I the only one who is struggling?’ and so sadly resolved to give these same one word answers as well., because I felt that no one was interested when I took the time to share, or that I was burdening people.It was and is still quite frustrating at times because I long to have my friends and even people who I meet to simply be honest. It is sad that we must encourage each other to be honest, when that really should be the way of the body of Christ, to share with each other and bear each others burdens rather than pretend that we are a picture of perfection which is clearly not true.