About the Author

Kaitlyn is a Virtual Assistant, book launch manager, and storyteller who writes about discovering God's goodness in the ordinary and faithfulness in the difficult. She loves good books, deep conversations, and iced vanilla lattes. Kaitlyn is the author of Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between.

Related Resources & Gifts
Find more at DaySpring.com
Related
Resources
& Gifts
Find more at
DaySpring.com
Recent Posts

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kaitlyn,
    So true that the grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence. I need to, as you say, water the heck out of the piece of ground I’m standing on. This has been a LONG season of physical injury, illness, and surgeries. I have had to claim some unwanted things as my new “normal”. I do get envious of people running and I’m barely out there walking and I want to stop them and ask, “Do you know how fortunate you are?” But that might be sour grapes. I have begun to buy myself flowers and then I enjoy arranging them into a pretty arrangement. It puts me in touch with the creative gifts God gave me. That brings me pleasure. I’ve also been indulging myself with other things that give me pleasure like sitting for 10 minutes and watching the antics of the birds at my bird feeder – it really is quite the comedy. Yes, indeed, buy the flowers….one bouquet for someone who needs encouragement and one for yourself (a daughter of the King).
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • Bev , so true…I can definitely relate to your season of injury / illness , this month marks 14 years of life altering diseases for myself! I also agree that we must “ water the the heck out of what we have “, I love how you put that! I still tend to get envious at others when I cannot do the things I want to and my body just doesn’t cooperate, I try to let myself fell upset but not so long and then start reminding myself what I do have !

      You definitely have to find things that you enjoy and I love the part about watching the birds, I’m 45 and I often sit out back and watch the birds and the squirrels and just take in the beautiful nature. I think I tend to enjoy the outdoors and nature more since becoming sick and I know before I was too busy to take too much time to do just that . That’s the beauty that God made for us to enjoy ! I also will but myself flowers, and that was only after another Incourage writer wrote several years ago that yes, we are good enough and deserve flowers and it’s ok to buy them for ourselves! I’ve been happily married for almost 27 years but still but flowers for myself at anytime as well as others!
      So, definitely ladies buy some flowers for someone who needs encouragement, at times that person may be you!

      Bev, prayers that this season will pass and you will recover and be able to do more things that you enjoy, until then, remember the things that you do still have !

      Kaitlyn, I’m so sorry that cashier was so rude ! But I think you’ve done a great job with this and remembering to embrace each season for what it is and what will come! Thanks fir the reminder and such a well written piece! I say #buytheflowers!

      • Jen,
        Thank you so much for your wonderful words of encouragement. It is hard to embrace, sometimes, that our “normal” may not look like someone’s else’s normal. I agree, that in slowing me down, God has enabled me to take in the beauty of His creation that I would have easily overlooked if I lived life in the fast lane. I have started a gratitude journal to help me focus on what I do have. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your love and caring!!
        Blessings and prayers,
        Bev xo

        • I’m loving this mini comment thread, Bev and Jen. Thank you for sharing openly here… it is always appreciated. (And Jen, I don’t know about the post you’re referring to — I’m going to have to hunt that one down!)

  2. I love this reminder ->”There are challenges on both sides of every mountain.”
    Somehow, we idealize (and idolize!) the thing we don’t have, forgetting that there are women who are married and also lonely; there are single women who are carrying crushing loads of family responsibility.
    Blessings to you, Kaitlyn, as you celebrate THIS season!

  3. I buy flowers all the time for myself. At every job, I had to explain that I brought the flowers and sometimes got strange looks. It was okay for me. As a single lady, I love myself and treating myself to one of the beauties God created makes me feel good. Encourage yourself I say!

    • Alice,
      You keep doing you and I love that you love yourself and enjoy
      treating yourself! Definitely an inspiration for not only the sing,e ladies but us all !
      Have a great week ❤️

  4. How different your day would have been if the clerk had spoken kind, encouraging words. I’m sure they were just trying to be friendly, light, funny. Thank you for writing this, it’s a reminder we all need, every day.

  5. Just what I needed to read. BTW I am married and I buy myself flowers. I deserve them and love what they represent in my house – ‘God’s awesome creations – as am I’. Social media, ESP FB is a much needed outlet for some narcissistic people. It bothers me but then I think, how sad to have to build yourself up when God already made you wonderful. I have come to feel sorry for those people. What shallow lives they lead. So thanks for the reminder that ‘my grass is green enough’.

  6. Your post so resonated with me. I remember this time of my life. I failed to enjoy being single and was constantly looking for someone to fill the void that I needed to fill with God. This led me to an incredibly unhealthy, abusive relationship. Out of that God blessed me with my amazing daughter, but I do wish I had turned more to the Lord. Now, as I try to heal, I am relying on him and, maybe, that was the plan all along. I say bravo to you for savoring this season in your life. God has a plan!

  7. Kaitlyn,

    I’m sure glad I wasn’t at that store-like you my mind would throw out barbs. Everyone has a God given dream. There are obstacles on both sides. Good & bad. No grass is any greener than what we have right in front of us. We are not to judge others. No one knows the stories behind the faces. People wear masks to hide the ugly in their lives. You don’t know someone unless you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. No judgement from me. For me I always extend encouragement. Give someone a smile & hey nice looking flowers. Want to share & shed some of God’s love & light in this dark world. There is to much negativity & presumption going on.

    Blessings 🙂

  8. Wow…what an incredibly rude man…not a gentleman at all! Is there some law that women can only enjoy flowers if a man buys them?! I don’t always have the money for flowers in my budget, but I always enjoy them on my way past the display…and I go a little crazy at the nursery every spring when I see how many flowers I can squeeze into my little yard! I remember reading a little book for single women called “Fine China is for Single Women too” – and I’ve taken that to heart! This is my life – I can enjoy it, I can invite friends over for a tea party, I can take a vacation by myself, I can LIVE! Thanks for sharing your encouragement!

  9. So so true, such good encouragement. Thank you.

    And flowers are beautiful anytime!!

    Great article!

  10. Your article reminded me of a time several years ago when I was a teenager. It was a hot, summer day. Sticky hot. I was out for a ride with a friend and we decided to stop at a local Tasty Freeze. The parking lot was packed with cars and there was quite a line waiting to order their cool treats. We decided to wait in the car for a few minutes for the line to dwindle down. As we did we couldn’t help but notice a car full of young boys pull up in a convertible. While we were sitting there, a huge woman, probably in her middle 20’s was headed towards her car filled with young children carrying about 6 ice cream cones all lined up in a carry box. As she walked passed the convertible one of the boys yelled out to her, “Hey, Lady”…she turned her head and looked at the boy calling to her with a pleasant smile on her face…and then he added “what is everybody else having?” And the car of boys burst into laughter. Some even clapping. The smile changed into shock and she looked totally embarrassed. Any expression of happiness she had was gone. My eyes filled up with tears as my heart sank for her. I couldn’t believe that anybody could be so cruel. She might’ve sat there a while and enjoyed her ice cream with the children. But she didn’t. She immediately gave the kids their cones and quickly drove away. I never saw that woman again. I have no idea who she was but I prayed that God would heal her feelings and let her know that no matter how she looked God loved her. Maybe she had an illness, maybe she was a depressed overeater. All I know is I saw someone’s spirit destroyed that day. Even now, the whole incident brings tears to my eyes. Thank you for your article. It’s such a reminder of the importance of our words and how they impact other when we speak.

    • Isn’t it incredible how some moments or sentences stay with us for so long?? Gosh, the power of words. Thanks for sharing – it’s an important reminder for all of us.

  11. I hope your feed becomes full of flower images! In a community, especially our church community, our status should never matter. Instead, we are called be all of one body, living out our own race that God set before each of us. And to come along side others to encourage and lift up. Thanks for your encouragement today!

  12. Thank you for sharing this!
    I also find singleness one of the hardest things to write about, yet I’m always grateful when someone has the courage to share ❤️ I think it’s because for me it is a form of brokenness, and yet I’m not trying to “overcome” or “heal” or even accept it. It brings on a sense of shame, both in the church and and in secular circles, and of a million lies being whispered that I am not chosen, not seen, not worthy, selfish and I KNOW they’re not true but I still feel it.

    I live and serve overseas, and I used to buy flowers for myself on special occasions that only I knew to celebrate (birthdays, death anniversaries, etc.) I stopped when I moved to a smaller town and people would give me odd looks and rumours would be rumbling, but I think I’d like to start doing it again! I do love fresh cut flowers 🙂

    • That is such a great way to put it, Addie. Seen as a form of brokenness, but not something that you’re trying to “overcome” or “heal” etc. That feels right to me. I hope you buy yourself flowers this week. <3

  13. Thank you! What a wonderful testament!! I will follow your example!

    “And so I’m going to water the heck out of the single life, choosing to follow Him with my whole heart, to fix my eyes on Him and anchor myself in Truth, trusting the heart of the One who made me and placed these dreams inside. And I’m going to do each of those things while believing and hoping and praying for the dreams He’s placed within me to come to life.
    I’m going to buy myself flowers.”

    Thank you

  14. Kaitlyn, what a good word this morning! I’m saving this and sharing it. Blessings to you!

  15. I recently lost my husband on December 16th. I bought myself flowers yesterday to lift my own lonely spirits. I thank you Kaitlyn, for your encouraging words. I don’t usually do much for myself these days, but I did feel good when I bought them. I was only married for four and a half years when he died. Before that I was on my own raising my daughter for 18 years. I used to buy flowers then for myself and say,” I’m not waiting for a man to buy them”. Still not 🙂 God bless you!

    • Trina, I am so sorry for your loss. My husband of 50 years died 6 months ago and sometimes the grief is unbearable. I’ve not bought myself any flowers. I have bought my husband flowers, though, that I lay on his grave. I pray that God will continue to heal your grief as I pray for healing and strength to get through mine and I plan to buy myself some flowers! May God Bless you Trina!

  16. I absolutely love this article. In the last few weeks I have come to the realization that I want to water my single life. This season of my life, as with every season, should be focused on Him. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows my desires. And if they are not being fulfilled at this moment or in my future moments, there is a reason and He knows best! I trust Him fully.

    I also liked the reminder that we do not know another person’s story. I love that we should assume they could use encouragement. I have also chosen to pray for those who have hurt me or when I start to have thoughts that are not kind toward others. I want to be more intentional about doing these things. Thank you, Kaitlyn!

  17. You’re the second writer who has encouraged us to buy ourselves flowers, so I guess I better pick some up soon! (The other was Bonnie Gray.)

    I love the outlook on life that you have chosen to embrace and shared with us. We all need this reminder to cherish what we have and where we are. It’s too easy to dwell in the past or focus too much on the future.

    Praying that God gives you your heart’s desire, and that we continue to have our dreams shaped and beautified by the One who knows us best.

  18. I loved your words of Encouragement . Us Women live in a world of Comparison . Comparison steals our Joy of the Lord . Encourage each other dont set each other up for Comparison . Loved your words today.

  19. Kaitlyn, your words are so what I needed this week! I think everything you said is true. I remember when I was single and I saw all of my friends getting married or engaged, I thought “one day someone will buy me flowers. One day someone will think I’m worth it.”

    Fast forward a decade and I’m now married. But you know what I did on Super Bowl Sunday… I went to Target and grabbed some snacks and as I walked past the flowers I heard Jesus say, “Buy yourself some flowers, my child.” I ignored Him because I didn’t want to spend the money and I’m a stubborn human sometimes. But thankfully He is more stubborn than me 😉 He kept repeating Himself, so I bought the these cute little purple ones that made me smile.

    My husband buys me flowers. But I rarely buy myself flowers because somewhere deep down I still don’t think I’m worth the 7.99 bouquet. But that day in Target I chose to believe it and do something about it.

    Thanks for sharing your beautiful heart so openly. You deserve all. the. pretty. things. Because you are worth it.

    Blessings to you sweet Sister,
    Becky 🙂

  20. Kaitlyn,
    I’m sorry that you had to experience that. Wouldn’t it be a shame to think how all the beautiful flowers displayed would be bypassed if they were only meant to be bought by men? I remember how much my Mom appreciated receiving them, not only for special occasions but also for just because. So yes let’s spread kindness in whatever way we can, and keep on buying those flowers……………including if you choose to treat yourself……..
    Have a blessed day all,
    Penny

  21. There is always good on all sides of the fence. And the greener grass is the watered and tended grass. Great thoughts. We tend to idealized what we don’t have, or the dreams we have not achieved. I love the idea a buying ourself flowers. I have a bouquet on my counter now reminding me that spring is coming.

  22. Kaitlyn, I loved this so much and this whole post totally resonated with me! Being single, this season can be hard in many ways. But as with pretty much everything, our attitude and perspective matter so much. Thank you for this important reminder!

  23. Kaitlyn – flowers are for the living. God made them so we could enjoy their beauty. They light up our lives. Therefore – single or married – buy and ENJOY!

    Another Elizabeth

  24. “The grass is not greener on the other side; the grass is greener wherever it is watered and tended to.” Wise words, Kaitlyn! And wise action, to water the heck out of the season of life you’re in, following God with your whole heart and anchoring yourself in Truth. There is unique joy to be savored in the here and now, and you are not squandering it away while focused on wishes for something else. Bravo, Kaitlyn! And thank you for leading the way–at the checkout counter with your flowers!

  25. Kaitlyn, thank you so much! What a glorious message of positive encouragement — no matter our status in life. Thank you so much for writing and sharing God’s wisdom and love today! On my way to buy flowers!

  26. Thanks for this post! Loved the words of encouragement you’ve given us today. I love flowers & try to buy some often for myself. I think I get that from spending lots of time in my grandparent’s flower shop when I was a young child. I know flowers can lift my spirits & put a smile on my face. I waited on an amaryllis to bloom during Christmas & it just barely grew. However in January it started shooting up & I had some of the prettiest blooms ever in late January. I was sick with a sinus infection for most of January & I truly think God knew I needed those pretty blooms in January & not in December! I’m sure I’ll be buying myself flowers for Valentine’s Day & I think I’ll go for the roses!

    • I’ve written about the beauty of an amaryllis a few times… they’re really special to me, growing and blooming in the winter. I actually have a similar story from this winter! My amaryllis just began to bloom last week after a month and a half of “nothing.” Of course, there’s always more to the story even when we can’t see it.

  27. Thank you for your post. It was very encouraging. Have been single up until 40 then God brought Mr right in. Wasn’t really looking for him. I was set on being single even though God gave me a verse when I was young that I would get married. God has His plan and it doesn’t always aline with what we think.
    Concerning the clerk. He might of just trying to get your attention. Men say stupid things around ladies they are attracted too. But I could be wrong.
    Thea

    • Well, since I’m in my 20s and he was certainly in his 50s or 60s, I hope not. 🙂 He likely just didn’t think about what he was saying – or maybe didn’t see anything wrong with it? I’ll never know, but can only grow from it.

  28. My season looks different than yours, but God has been teaching me the same truth of making the most of where I am because He’s here and has purpose. Thanks for the reminder to buy the flowers and see God.

  29. Amen! Whether it’s singleness, bereavement, celebration, or no occasion at all, let yourself do the things that bring more beauty and joy into your world. The Lord sees you and knows you better than anyone else!

  30. It’s like you’ve peeked into my heart and put it into words. As another single Sister please know that your vulnerability is like balm to my heart. It is not only refreshing but also encouraging. Thank you for writing this and for pushing us to embrace our journey but to have compassion towards the others as well.

  31. Thanks for your encouraging words. I did not take a photo but so enjoyed sharing a dozen roses with 6 friends who did not have anyone to give to them on Valentines Day. My friends were blessed and so was I. May you be encouraged to continue the good work out Lord has placed on your hearty.

    Nancy

  32. I stumbled upon this and I believe that the Holy Spirit led me here because I am currently going through the season of singleness. It took awhile, but I am finally at a place where I am content in the season that I am in and I am using this precious time to get to know myself better and to get to know God better. Thank you for your encouragement!