About the Author

Heather speaks hope to a woman’s struggle with comparison and body image. She lives outside of Dallas with her fighter-pilot-turned-pastor husband and their four homeschooled children. A recovering “comparer,” Heather encourages women to stop comparing and start living. Her first book titled, Compared to Who?, just released.

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  1. Heather,
    I wonder how those conversations would go if we really viewed our bodies as living temples of God’s Holy Spirit. “Oh you should see my temple – boy is it ugly – it needs some major renovation and the foundation is sagging,” “Yes, my temple too – it’s got so many cracks and the old facade…well it just needs a face lift.” “I’d like to tear my temple down and start all over with a sleek, slim, shiny new temple.”

    I have always battled with my weight. I will never be model thin. I don’t have an hourglass figure, but at 56, I am finally becoming more comfortable in my skin (cellulite, wrinkles, and all). I try, every time I want to say something demeaning about my body, to chase it away with Truth that I am God’s workmanship. The world looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart. Yes, we owe each other much more than “My thighs are the fattest.” If we put aside the comparison game and instead played the encouragement game just think how we’d all view ourselves. May we all have the boldness to reply as you did, Heather, – even if the response at first is “Whatever.” Maybe in time the Truth will begin to sink in. Great post!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • Bev, you don’t look @56 at all!
      I hope you are well and your recovery spontaneous?
      Happy reading your comments here as always, friend.
      Huge Blessings to you

      • Ifeoma,
        Thanks for your kind words. Except for this pesky foot of mine I don’t feel my age – besides it’s just a number, right? Recuperation is coming along. May get to actually drive soon (it’s been two months). Need to learn to pace myself lol. Thanks for your prayers – they are truly felt.
        Blessings sweet friend,
        Bev xx

      • Hi Bev! Thanks so much for your comment and kind words! My thoughts/encouragement on the “temple” front is for us to remember that temples aren’t important because of the way they look, rather because they have a tremendous purpose — to worship and serve God. Our bodies are intended for this purpose too–to reflect his glory, to bring worship to him, to serve him! Too many of our body image conversations–even in the church–lead us to self-focus. Like I talk about in my book, I think the real key to body image freedom is getting our eyes off of ourselves and remembering that our role is to reflect our incredible Savior who loves us, even when the mirror doesn’t. 🙂

    • Thanks for showing me that I am a living temple for the Holy Spirit and its important to take care of myself. You are a huge blessing with such encouraging words for me as I travel this weight loss journey. Thanking God for your friendship. Praying for speedy recovery and being able to drive soon! Hugs!
      Kath

      • Kathy,
        The most beautiful part of your temple is your caring heart. So blessed God made our paths to cross by you reaching out to me in encouragement through my recuperation. Cheering you on to good health sweet friend!!
        Always,
        Bev xoxo

  2. “From God alone.”
    This beautiful Truth is true on every level — how we look, our words on the page (or screen), the accomplishments of our kids. Comparison only leads to feelings of competition and self-condemnation.
    Thanks for turning my gaze this morning to the God who sees me — not as I stack up beside someone else, but as I follow hard after Him.

    • Amen, well said. I have thought and listened to similar thoughts over the years, knowing these types of comments and replies were just another example of how secure so many women are.
      I am so glad to be past that and I’m able to share these beautiful words of wisdom with others.

      Blessings.

      • Thanks, Julie! I really pray we can start to change the conversation . . . I long for the day when Christian women will rise up in boldness and speak truth to each other, even when it comes to this “sensitive” topic.

    • Yes, we’ll never make everybody happy on the physical beauty front — ourselves included! But, reflecting our Savior and pleasing Him alone is always enough! 🙂

  3. I can’t nod my head enough! Thank you for starting the conversation…thank you for opening those places we hate to go! I appreciate these scriptures you have shared.
    I can’t wait for the FaceBook Live next week. I know many women would be Super Blessed to hear you speak healing and hope. Praying that God continues to strenghten you.
    God Bless, Heather.

  4. And a brave start that is. Recently I had my first book signing and the whole while my attention was diverted to “Are they staring at the gap in my teeth”. Image issues are so strong. I am fighting back with the truth that I am made in the image of my Creator.

    • Yes! Fight back!!! 🙂 We are made in God’s image!!! Sometimes, when I’m feeling overly-self-conscious, I just have to speak the truth of the Gospel to myself. I’ve been bought with a price, I’m loved by God. But, I usually have to remind myself also that my purpose here on earth isn’t to look pretty. It’s to reflect and glorify him. I seem to find that when I’m worried about how I look, the root is always my desire to bring glory to me . . .and that’s when I get all out of sorts about not being “enough.”

  5. It is disgusting that all we hear about is how women constantly criticize their bodies, from whose thighs are the fattest or whose butt is the biggest. You know what? Whomever does have the fattest thighs or the biggest butt deserves to proudly wear a medal! How about displaying some body confidence? How about since God loves us ***as we are*** why can’t we do the same? I look in the mirror and I love my fat thighs, I love my wide butt, and I am not going to let anyone else tell me that I shouldn’t. God loves me as I am, (and so does my husband) and God created me in His image. Why shouldn’t any of us look in the mirror and be proud, instead of letting the poisonous words of society decide what we should look like? Nope. My Holy Temple is not going to be tall, slim, and sleek. Why? Because I choose for it not to be. I want my temple to be as it is right now……..strong, sturdy, and able to withstand any attacks and battles from the enemy. My temple is beautiful because it is filled with the Holy Spirit, and created by God with love. I just wish more women would appreciate their bodies/temples as they are, instead of criticizing them. It is sad to hear those kinds of conversations taking place.

    • That’s great that you have found freedom in this arena, Jasmine! I hope you’ll continue to help others who struggle (which is most women according to the studies!!!) 🙂

  6. As a woman who has been plus size most of my life, I’m sensitive to the way people think they have the right to criticize my size as if it’s their duty to inform me that I don’t fit into their image of popular people. I’ve never strived to be popular I’ve always been comfortable just being myself. But I do have to remind myself that I’m more than a size that I have been created in God’s image. I’m a big beautiful woman and I like who I am especially being a child of God. I try to stay fit and healthy but I am not going to stress out over body size.

    • Yes! A number in a tag or on the scale does not define us!!! God has tremendous purpose for each of our lives and, I believe, he equipped us with everything we need, physically, to accomplish that purpose. One great example of this is Nick Vujivic who was born without arms or legs but has an international ministry where he’s the “hands and feet” of Jesus. Thinking of him always reminds me that God knew what purpose he had for my life and that he’s given me exactly what I need, body wise, to do the job he has for me! (And, because of MY body type, I know for sure that job was not to be a swimsuit model!)

  7. She may have responded, “whatever,” but she did hear your words…His words. And that’s what he tells us to do. Speak His words. Because we are incapable of effecting the change. But He sure can — and His Word has the power to do just that! So thankful you spoke up!

  8. That girl in your spin class just wasn’t ready to hear truth yet. It’s very possible your words will come back to her at a later date and she’ll realize how right you were. Meanwhile, perhaps someone else in the room was listening, and he/she took to heart what you said. You are an example to us all: share what God prepares for us to say (Your response was wise and well-spoken, btw!) and leave the results to him. Thank you, Heather!

  9. Heather,

    I, too, long for the day of no comparisons. I’m 52 and a wee bit overweight with some gray hairs. it doesn’t bother me in the least. Oh sure I exercise and try to eat healthy. I know this temple isn’t going to last forever. I’m going to enjoy my life and encourage others to do the same. Rejoicing in the fact I am healthy. May others see themselves as God’s Holy Temple-built to worship almighty God and love each other.

    Blessings 🙂

  10. Love that you are teaching women their worth comes from Him and not their size. Looks = worth is so ingrained in our society and starts so young in life. I remember being skinny as a teen. I’d walk into the girl’s bathroom at church and there was a lounge sometimes the teen girls would gather. Invariably the talk would move to our looks, our body size, our periods. Some girl would complain about being bloated and I would then complain about being bloated. I knew I was the skinniest one there but of course I too was worried about bloating and appearing cool. The things we do to try and fit in and be accepted.