About the Author

Christie and her husband have 3 boys that keep them on their toes, and she is the Director of Children’s Ministries at her church in Canada. She writes online about family faith and discipleship, and her first children’s picture book (Quinn’s Promise Rock) releases in early 2019.

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Comments

    • This post is very apt to my current situation. I have been convicted many a times by God that I have to forgive someone who has wronged me, but I kept ignoring Him. For the past few days my peace was disturbed by God as He wants me to forgive. I decided that I’ll write an email hoping that I’ll get an apology from Him. But God again spoke to me now that I shouldn’t be having such motive, if so that’s not true forgiveness at all. I now know what I have to do. So, thanks so much for this post. I’m greatly blessed. Need your prayers too. Thanks again.

      • I’m praying right now for you Lizzy, that you would be able to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and that the freedom He gives you when you forgive would be so much more than the feeling of satisfaction given when you get an apology.

        • I have been in fasting and prayer over being wronged and humiliated in front of my peer group. I stumbled upon your post not even sure how and so very grateful for the clarity and direction this gave me. Prayers welcome to have the courage to be obedient to this call.

      • Lizzy,

        Praying you can realize God’s extravagant forgiveness lavished on us each and every day. Perhaps that will help you to forgive that person. I know it can be hard sometimes. I will pray for you now and ask that God soften your heart.

        ((((((HUGS))))))

  1. Dearest Miss Christie,

    Thank you so much for sharing the words our loving Heavenly Father has laid on your heart. Sometimes it is so hard because the other person may not even know they did anything to hurt us, let alone on purpose… but, we get hurt nonetheless. We have to realize that we may be being more sensitive and take it to God. I know for me personally I can be really hard on myself. So the person I have the hardest time forgiving is… me. But, I have to remember if the One and Only God Almighty creator of the Heavens and Earth can forgive me and love me (and those who wrong me) then, well, I need to rest in His grace and know it’s okay to forgive me too (and who would I be to not forgive those who sin against me?). It’s definitely not easy… but thank God that he is always there to listen to and comfort us; taking us right where we are. Thank you again for such a great post!

    This side of Heaven,
    Summer Rae

    • Yes, it is so true that we have such a hard time forgiving ourselves. Maybe that’s why we have such a hard time forgiving others! If we’re holding ourselves to an impossible standard, no one else will measure up either. But God has the most impossible standard and He made a way for forgiveness. I’m so glad!

  2. Christie,
    Your post makes me think of 1 John where it talks about the Lord LAVISHING His love upon us and in Ephesians 1:7-8 that talks about the riches of His grace which He LAVISHED upon them. God is always extravagant with His love, mercy, grace, and yes, even forgiveness toward us. Like you, I can tend to be a miser with my forgiveness, but as you pointed out, we are called to lavish our forgiveness on others. 70 times 7….that’s a lot of forgiveness. God calls us to this not for His needs, not necessarily for the needs of the other person, but because He knows it will heal our hearts and restore peace in our souls. What a magnanimous God we have. Great post!
    Blessings,
    Bev xx

    • I love the imagery in that word, lavish. It makes me think of lavishing icing on a cake – it’s not a tiny little bit scraped on top, it’s lavished on, an unnecessary but perfect gift.

  3. Christie…did your parents purposely know your name would have spoken Christ name each time it was said?! Thats sweetest name above all names!
    Today is the day I have set aside to have my 3 children and spouses and 7 grandchildren over for a celebration and reconciliation of their estranged relationships in the last 9 months . Some misunderstandings and hurtful words (texts) unfortunately separated them.. 2 babies have been born through them also and never have the babies met.. forgiveness is the only door to heaven and the only door to the inward joy that is steady and lasting..please pray that they all attend today and pray that if not, God will continue to be the Rock and is always in control of my life and theirs..He is extravagant LOVE
    Forgiveness is King blessings

    • What an amazing day for you Sharon! I can’t even imagine the hurt you must feel having your precious children estranged from each other. Praying that they all show up and that God’s mercy and grace flows freely!

      (PS I don’t know if my parents thought of the word “Christ” when they were ticked off at my teenage self, but I have certainly appreciated my name more as I have grown!)

  4. Christie,
    This is the best article on forgiveness I have ever read. I definitely needed to hear this. I love what you wrote that the Kingdom of God is very expensive. That really brought forgiveness to a new level for me. Thank you.

  5. Last night, I couldn’t sleep, struggling with the anger and outrage at the continuous insensitivity of my brother. I don’t want a relationship with him, I thought. He who has stepped on my feelings and withheld a hand when I was struggling to get back on my feet. Then I read this article this morning. I know what I’m called to do, but am still struggling with it. I pray God helps me through this trouble in my soul. What a poignant reminder of how we are required to forgive as Jesus forgave us with his ultimate sacrifice.

    • It’s so hard! Everything Jesus calls us to do is so hard, so impossible in our own strength. May He strengthen your heart today.

  6. God is convicting me through the words of others; at 1:20 am through the Facebook post of a friend and 8 hours later through your words here. Ugh, conviction.

    Small back story. My husband and I have been through much in our eleven years of marriage and thirteen years together: substance abuse, infidelity, financial ruin, death of his brother in Afghanistan, breast cancer, and the list goes on. I’ve prayerfully asked God to give a word to focus on each year for the past few years. “Restore” and “pour” have been two of them. This year’s is “choice.”

    “I always have to make the choice.” How those words pierced me. I want to hold on to all of my husband’s wrongs so I can count them when I get into a funk. I want to be the one who is right and, in an un-Christ-like manner, point out his un-Christ-likeness. But the God who restored me, the God who poured into me and allowed me to pour into others, is reminding me that holding on to these wrongs is a choice. My choice.

    Thank you for being His willing vessel to remind me that the choice… is mine.

  7. It’s easy to say forgive until the shoe’s on the other foot. I did forgive but I have to live with the consequences of what was done to me. The word says Christ Jesus became a curse for me as it is written in the Tanakh cursed is he who hangs upon a tree so that the righteousness of Abraham might be imputed unto me. But God is Faithful He will not allow me to be tested beyond what I can endure, He will deliver me and even if He does not I will not deny His name nor give allegiance to strange god’s.

    • I so agree – we all have people in our lives to forgive, but it doesn’t erase the consequences of the actions. Praying that He will give you peace and give you power to reframe your experience in the light of His grace!

  8. Christie,
    Thank-you for expressing why forgiveness means so much. I keep this on my memo board, “I say unto thee, not seven times, but seventy times seven.”

    Have a blessed day all,

    Penny

  9. I’m thoroughly blessed by your transparent sharing. For many years I’d attended the only church I knew (22 years), growing up and enjoying some of my best worship days. However, something changed about 10 years ago (5 years ago, I finally decided to leave in 2012). Jesus was no longer the 1st love of the church, that was when ministry took over that place in our hearts. God’s people begun to hurt each other. Wounds built up. Finally, I was wounded myself. When I left, my heart was really bitter. I didn’t want to have anything to do with that church anymore. Though I felt better now, 5 years later, reading your article tugs at my heart. I have not fully forgiven the church (people, leadership) for allowing things to go out of control and not recognizing or dealing with the real issues. Thank you for the good reminder ‘The Expense of Forgiveness’. So this day, I make the choice to let go of each and every offense I felt while being there. I forgive God for allowing it to happen, I forgive those who have hurt me and I forgive myself for not being able to forgive. Remembering how much Jesus has sacrificed, though he didn’t sinned yet He took on our sin(s) and died sacrificially for me not because I deserved it but, because simply, yet profundly, He loves me. Hallelujah! To God be the glory 🙂

    • AMEN! Best comment of the day! I love how God is working here, in you and me and in the many people who didn’t comment.

  10. God tells us to forgive. In our humanness, we tend to hang on, believing the other party does not deserve to benefit from our forgiveness. Truth is, forgiving those who tresspass against us in any way is a gift God has planned for our benefit. Though the offending party may not take notice, may not ever care if we forgive, the Father is ever steadfast in his plans for us. Forgiveness is a gift for the forgiver and the forgiven. Obedience in forgiving others is healing and freedom in Christ Jesus. Lay it down.

  11. I was “unfriended” by a friend in a text message. I am so hurt and want to forgive her but I don’t know how. This happened quit awhile ago and it still hurts.

    • This is all so true but we also need to remember that when we forgive the other person not only do we set them free but we also set ourselves free to let God’s peace in. Not saying it is an easy thing to do but God did not call us to an easy life but to an Abundsnt life. I think we all need that reminder. Thanks for a great post.

      • Oh yes, forgiveness is so freeing for ourselves! I think that’s why God commands it.

        Jodie, your situation breaks my heart. I had a friendship implode a couple years ago and it was such a burden on my heart. I don’t think I can explain HOW to forgive, just that sometimes it takes giving it to God many times before we are finally freed from our bitterness. Praying that God would reframe your pain so you can see how He is working in your life through it.

    • Jodie, Bless your tender heart. God wants a tender heart in us. I was looking around in a bookstore last week and saw a sticker that very plainly spoke about forgiveness. When we forgive, we let it go, and move away from our hurts. Oh how we love to hand on, though! The sticker was so blunt that I laughed! It said, “Let it go or be dragged around with it.” True for me! Forgiveness is a choice with the gift of freedom.

  12. This could not have come at a more perfect time for me. I’ve been struggling with this issue myself. 5 years ago my husband of 31 years left me for another woman, it took me a long time to get past the pain and rebuild a life for me and my disabled son, throughout this time God never let me, and there were times that were nothing short of miraculous.
    Six months ago my high school sweetheart found me and we fell back in love again. It was so wonderful after 5 years of loneliness to feel loved, and to have someone to love. Since I no longer live in the state I grew up in, it was a long distance relationship, but he traveled to spend every holiday with my son and I. We talked about getting married and spending our lives together.
    3 weeks ago ( two days before my birthday and 3 days before my mom’s cancer surgery ) he broke up with me and told me he’d met someone else. All the pain from 5 years ago came rushing in like a tidal wave. He’s now, to quote him ” in a new relationship and completely devoted to making it work “. I’m left feeling like I was the garbage that got thrown out. I feel so far away from forgiveness, even though I know God wants me to do just that

    • Shannon, I’ve sat for a little while reflecting on your post because I have been there too. It is difficult to get up and go out there and be vulnerable and open again after such hurt, but it is so necessary, dear sister, so that we don’t wall up. Like Clare said and I am so thankful for her heartfelt words, forgive yourself (right there with you, dear sister). Our Lord never leaves us or forsakes us and understands all our pains and hurts, hurting with us when these moments come. Let Him bring you to forgiveness by praying for the desire to forgive and He will take that little bit and multiply it into the flower of forgiveness. We can’t do it ourselves, sweet sister, only by His grace can we forgive-something I had to ask His forgiveness for for trying to do it in my own strength. Our Lord is faithful and He will do it. Keeping you close in prayer, Shannon, trusting, knowing that He will bring you through 🙂 So many hugs for you! (Christie, thank you for this beautiful posting that warms the heart with His love :))

    • Shannon, that is so hard. I’m so sorry for your multiple losses. May God give you comfort today, and show you that He will NEVER reject you. He made you good, not garbage, and He loves you desperately. I pray that this truth would worm its way into your heart, giving you power to forgive those who have hurt you so deeply.

    • Shannon,

      Sweet sister praying for you now. God loves you and so do we!!! May God give you the strength to endure-especially taking care of your son. I pray you feel His presence daily. May you know His love for you. Reaching through e-mail to give you a virtual hug!! You deserve the best sweet sweet sister!! Praying for comfort and peace!!

      (((((Hugs)))))

  13. Shannon I am praying for you. I think you have to forgive yourself first if I’m honest. When things have happened to me I’ve often thought how could I be so dumb? You went into this new relationship with an open heart and willing to receive. So first of all be kind to yourself and don’t be hard on yourself. Forgive yourself first. Forgive yourself for feeling like garbage and for forgetting that you are a prized daughter of our Lord Jesus Christ. Forgive yourself for doubting His love. And then, after that, feel his peace. Which in turn will help you to forgive and release the others. I’m so sorry his has happened to you.

  14. I do love how you say forgiveness is expensive, and how unforgiveness was leaving a stain on your soul. And how the pile of dirty laundry was growing in your heart. All intriguing thoughts that drew me in. Thank you Christie

  15. I love listening to my Bible app while doing housework as well! So true that forgiveness is a choice we have to make.
    Thank you

  16. This is so wonderful to lift each other up in prayer. As I pray for theses needs, I am grateful to be able to ask for prayer for my son. He is a Junior in high school and has become apathetic about school and church. His grades have dropped he says her knows he just has not applied himself but it doesn’t seem to concern him. He has chosen to hang out with some troubled kids he plays sports with and seems to have lost interest in school as I said. I am scared for his future and struggle with words to say.

    • Karla,

      Praying for you and your son. I pray God will change & soften his heart. May he start caring about school and work. Praying for strength for you as you carry this burden. May God do a miracle in this situation!

      (((((HUG)))))

  17. Love how you tied forgiveness together with the extravagance of the Old Testament sacrificial system. Beautiful and thought provoking. Sometimes I ask myself, how can I deny another forgiveness when I so desperately need forgiveness too. Thankfully we serve a generous and extravagant God.

  18. I am going to copy this, so I can remember it. I have a really bad problem thinking people don’t like me. If I make a comment – (like on here); I worry that it will be taken wrong or someone won’t like it. I’ve been hurt by a lot of people – from words, mostly. I’m tired of being hurt – And I’m 60 now. This has been going on for a long time. I know people are sick of me and are tired of hearing me. I’m trying so hard to grow and praying that the evil one will be stopped from attacking me! Thank you for reading this and any help that may be given! <3

  19. Uggggggghhhhhh. But I don’t WANT to…

    I’m feeling like that servant who was forgiven a lifetime of debt, now losing my mind over a couple hundred dollars. And I AN losing my mind over it. Oh, Jesus… I need help. He cost me so much and doesn’t even see the offense. But I cost You more.

  20. Christie,

    We need to open our eyes and hearts to know and realize the extravagant forgiveness God lavishes on us daily. Once we discern how much He loves and forgives us of ALL our sins daily-even hourly-then we should be able to forgive others. May Jesus help us all to forgive everyone without wanting an apology. They may not know they have hurt us in any way. Just forgive and forget-do as Jesus would!!

    I pray this daily over my husband: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” ~ Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

    Blessings 🙂