About the Author

Kinsey is a follower of Jesus, a wife, and a mom. She is passionate about prayer, family, and advocating for orphans.

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  1. The true heroes of the faith (in Scripture and in more recent history) walked the road of faith with their scars visible — for all to see. Thank you for sharing in the life of admitting that only God can meet our heart’s deepest needs.

  2. I am so glad that I saw this blog. Thank you for writing it. Yes, we are in a society/culture that really demands to just “get over it” with little or no time to grieve. Grieving times\space is personal. People grieve in different ways and spans of time. And yes, there is a place in us that only belongs to God Almighy, Yahweh. No one or nobody can and should try to fill that place. The Word of God stresses the point to come to God with any and everything. God waits, yearning to hear from us. Thanks a trillion times for writing this blog.

  3. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have been grieving over the passing of my brother, Johnny, since Thanksgiving of last year. I know there are stages of grief but I can’t seem to let go. My brother, Johnny, was always there for me. I remember when I was still young my brother sitting with me teaching me how to write and do my ABC’s. He was always spending time with me and sharing pain and suffering with me. He was a very good man and a good friend. I miss him as much as I do my parents. I have loved all my brothers deeply but Johnny was more than just a brother. Thank you for letting me unburden my heart to you today.

    • Thank you for sharing your heart, Linda. Part of my own healing has been opening up and getting real with my close friends around me. “Letting go” can be a peculiar thing–because I don’t know if we ever do really, in some measures. I will miss my dad every day for the rest of my life, as I’m sure you will miss your sweet brother. Missing someone is a part of loving them–and you missing your brother is evidence of how well your heart loved him, and still loves him even in his absence. We hold on to God’s promise that He is near to the broken-hearted, and we lean into His nature as a God who lets His own tears fall with ours when we are grieving (John 11). Bless you, Linda! Praying for your heart today.

    • Praying for comfort for you, Linda. My sister is near death with cancer, so I can somewhat relate. God will keep those in perfect peace whose minds are stayed on him.

  4. Words are not enough to say the gratitude i feel for what you shared here in this writing! Even grief from long ago makes sense now that you have shown the way to handle it by taking it to the lord! It is His place to hold and comfort us! Thank you so very much for giving many readers such a crucial instruction that will make all the difference in sorting thru the hard parts of life!! I am so blessed by your words! So very blessed!

    • Thank you, Maria. It’s true that our God comforts us in trial–so that we will be able to comfort those in their own trials with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1). It’s a difficult journey! I’m thankful you found some encouragement from this post. I believe you will also be a blessing to others!

  5. My mum died 6 years ago & I’m probably only just unraveling now. How can I believe God will help me pick up the pieces when I’m not convinced he could possibly even love me?

    • Oh, my – dear sweet Ann Marie… I so wish you were right here.

      I don’t have the words or power to convince you how much God loves you. But I know He does. And I know that my prayers and those of all of the sisters who read your brave words will reach Him. And He’ll reach for you. Look for Him. Listen. And tell us what happens –

      Dear sweet Ann Marie… I’ll pray for you every day. Promise. xoxox

    • Ann Marie,
      I’m so sorry about the loss of your mom. My mom passed away a little over 7 years ago and I still miss her everyday. I questioned God a lot through her illness and losing her has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Like you, I felt so broken and doubted God’s love, but then He revealed His love to me through others who have experienced mother loss. Healing came as I began to work through my grief. I encourage you to check out the Motherless Daughters Ministry (especially their blogs) – http://www.motherlessdaughtersministry.com .

      Just know you are not alone and I’ll be praying that God reveals His love to you.

    • Thank you for sharing, Ann Marie, and for your courage and vulnerability. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. Losing a parent is one of the most breaking things for a heart. I’m hurting with you this morning.

      I’ve touched the very wrestle you are speaking of. It can be easy for all of us to let our emotions and circumstances define who God is and how He feels about us. But the landing place for my own heart, and the hope for all of our hearts, is to cast our anchors on His Word. Because though we’ve heard the truth of who He is and how He loves, it can take time to get it deep inside of us–even and especially in those places that hurt so much. I’ve found so much life in staring into passages like the Psalms, the Gospels (specifically John 15 and 17) and praying them back to God, even singing them back to God. And in time, as I take His Word and speak it back to Him, it changes the very atmosphere of my heart and emotions.

      I’m praying for you today, Ann Marie. Praying the you would know Him as the Comforter, as a tender Father who has His arms open wide to you, and as a dear and compassionate friend who weeps with you when you’re grieving (John 11). Bless you, dear one.

  6. Permission to grieve in a world that spends billions of dollars hiding from death! Thank you for reminding me that my God can handle all the messy emotions he graciously blessed me with.

  7. “When storms and griefs blow through our worlds, we can go to the unraveling, melting, breaking place before God.”

    Yes! Why did it take me so many years to learn this — that He wants to meet me there?

    Lovely and true words. Thank you.

  8. Ann Marie, I am soo sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost mine too, and felt just like you do. In fact, I was so angry w/ God I actually turned my back to Him for several years doubting He could care after removing the only person who loved me unconditionally. I have since lost six siblings. Long story short, He cares the most. One day after He brought me back I was asking, “Where were You, God? He answered, ” Right where I was when my Son was crucified.” Shook me.
    He ever loves, and leads and heals, even when we don’t recognize or understand what He’s doing and why.
    Over T.I.M.E., He leads us to a sweeter place in our relationship w/ Him.

    Kinsey, your post really resonated w/ me this am. I have a friend who called me yesterday who is walking thru this very thing.
    Thank you.

  9. A wonderful message of hope for those on this journey. It does take time to heal from the ‘too soon’ loss of a loved one. It’s learning how to consciously celebrate the memories and legacy with a joyful smile. They helped you to develop resilience and determination – if our hands are full of sadness we are unable to accept the gift of joyfulness …….

  10. “We go there to take hold of the One who will lead us out.” What a beautiful image – So many times we feel alone in our grief, but the truth is God is right there with us. He mourns with us and He longs to comfort/help us on our grief journey. To grieve deeply means we have loved deeply, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

  11. Beautifully said. I heard Michael Carr speak on meeting God in our brokeness. His song says “because He’s broken too”.He can understand all our sorrows. God saw His son on that cross He understands our grief.

  12. Thank you sweet sister for sharing this season with us. In having gone through some extreme brokenness, I can absolutely say Amen to what God does-for us, in us, through us. He is so faithful and kind. I truly believe He weeps with us…that’s why He’s so good at comforting us!

  13. I`m sorry for your loss. Cancer is so prevalent these days. My Mom (90) has been struggling with cancer since December. God is the only thing getting us through. Thank you for sharing with us, may the Lord comfort and strengthen you.

  14. Thank you. We just found out our dad died, and someone shared this with us. It’s a good thing to read after trying to sleep the first long night.

    • Oh Deborah, my heart hurts with you today. Grace, grace to you on this journey. God will meet you here. So thankful we have a God who weeps with us, who lets His tears fall with ours (John 11).

  15. Thank you. I am right in the middle of grieving the loss of my mom. It has been one of the most difficult times in my life.
    I have felt that thing if “get it together.” It is so binding. This once again has encouraged me to draw closer to the One who loves me most .

  16. Kinsey, Beautiful and heartbreaking. So much hope turning to Him.
    “That throbbing place that wecesntcto sedate is aspace that is meant for God.”
    Thanks for your words!
    Jen

  17. I’m so sorry, Kinsley. To lose your dad and have it happen so quickly would be excruciating. I’m also so thankful for the words your pastor spoke to you. A couple of years ago , a few months after our family had returned heartbroken and grieving from living overseas, someone shared this post and it was such a blessing to me:
    http://www.thebettermom.com/2014/10/05/permission-slip-mom-grieving/
    It might say it’s for mom’s who are grieving but it’s for anyone. Grief takes so long. And I am convinced that it’s because the more we love, the more (and the longer) we will hurt when what or who we loved is gone. Memories fade and the pain subdues, but even then, the love remains and for that I’m thankful. Blessings to you and everyone else reading and grieving as you continue to walk by faith into the Father’s arms, letting tears fall at his feet. Thanks for sharing your story.

  18. This was such a good and powerful read today. It confirmed that in those broken places in my heart I can give all to the One who does hear you, who does comfort and does heal. That it’s ok to feel our feelings, just don’t stay stuck there. Just ride the wave of the emotions and let the One who refreshes refresh, definitely speaks to my heart and spirit. Thank you and as this blessed me I pray for blessings for you as well. Amen ♡

  19. This is such a beautiful read!!! Like you said so many times our world – even many of Gods children expect you to suck up the hurt and get on with life !!! But! Gods way is so much better — HE is the Master Healer – the Great Physician —He longs for us to come to HIM and let HIM perform a healing in our hearts that only HE can do that is a lasting healing not a band aid kind of healing –thank you for your article –we should be able to be vulnerable before the Lord and our brothers and sisters and not be judged !!! Praise the Lord for the pastor who reached out to you and told you it is ok to weep and mourn!!! I ask the Lord to bless this pastor – in mighty ways for his compassion !!!

  20. God does have a place for tears, even a bottle for them . Psalm 56:8 I have seen grief in both ways held in and allowed to fester enough to manifest as a spirit that will ruin lives. I tried to be the strong one for my family and went long periods without crying. It is necessary to heal. And only He can turn tears to joy. Please take comfort that your father have been spared from pain, only God has all the answers.

  21. Losing both of my parents the same year and then in my brokenness I let the family home go. It was always my dream to own . I pray daily for it to come back to me. I so wish that I could hear my God tell me what to do. My heart is heavy and I seek my Father to hear His words. So hard

    • Marianne, this is so very difficult. Thank you for continuing to seek God in the midst of the ache. I know His heart is moved by your reach towards Him, even in the middle of the trial. Praying for you tonight.

    • Marianne,

      Praying for God’s wisdom and guidance to come your way. May He give you a discerning heart to know and hear His perfect will for you life. Praying for peace and comfort for your weary soul. Keep seeking the Lord. He will answer your prayers!

      Blessings 🙂

  22. What a blessing it was to see this today. My husband passed suddenly 1 year ago. Just when I think I have got it together, I realize I don’t. Not a day goes by that I don’t shed tears. My counselor just talked to me last about being vulnerable and the strength not weakness it is. Thank you for validating what he said with scripture.

    • Oh Renee, my heart aches with you. There are just no words to say sometimes. Those tears are precious, and a part of our healing. Hurting for you tonight, and praying for you.

  23. Breathtakingly beautiful and profound in every way! The God we serve who invites our brokenness and weakness and whispers “come.” Thank you Kinsey! Yours and Jon’s ministry is a light before men, pointing to the glory of God in Heaven. Praises be His name! The God that knows the depths of us and loves us all the more. Also, an encouragement to friends and the church to listen well and be still and present with the mourning and allowing the vulnerability and raw moments. In that we find true community and communing. Bless you!

  24. Your words were so beautiful, true, and strong. Thanks for giving us permission to grieve. We live in a world that often doesn’t give us much time to grieve, and one that often doesn’t know how to help you grieve. My died suddenly last October and one of the hardest things to cope with was the silence from friends. Luckily I had a few who actually wanted to broach the subject of me losing my dad and hear some of my pain. A few friends sent cards that I still treasure, not so much even for their words, but for their just acknowledging my loss and the pain I was experiencing. Often we don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving. But saying something about the situation or loss is much better than saying nothing. “I am so sorry,” is a good start.

  25. This is beautiful, Kinsey. I’m so sorry about the loss of your father. God cares about all our griefs and the details of our lives, the big ones and even the seemingly “small” ones. Thank you for your reminders and encouragement to “break open before Him.”

  26. Kinsey,

    So sorry for the sudden loss of your beloved father! May God continue to wrap His loving arms around you. Beautifully written post! This world can be insensitive to grieving people. Everyone’s lives go on and the world keeps spinning. We feel we must move on and push the grief aside. God in His loving kindness says “go ahead my daughter/son-grieve”. He understands our pain and anguish. I have found that grieving/crying is good and refreshing for my soul!

    Blessings 🙂

  27. Kinsey: I’ve unraveled before God and it brought me to a closer, deeper relationship with him. Thank you for sharing your heart, praying words of comfort and healing to your broken soul.

  28. Thank you for sharing the hurt with us and letting us know we are not alone. Prayers for you and your family. I love your heart for the orphans. My heart is there, don’t know where to start, but God works things out in His way.

    “A common human tendency is to want to get away from the ache — to bury it, rush past it, numb it. But the truth is, that throbbing space that we want to sedate is a space that is meant for God. A space that He longs to fill. And He invites us to break open and to come up close to Him in the trial.”

    Especially loved that part. God bless!