About the Author

Bonnie Gray is the author of Sweet Like Jasmine, Whispers of Rest, wife, and mom to two boys. An inspirational speaker featured by Relevant Magazine and Christianity Today, she’s guided thousands to detox stress and experience God’s love through soul care, encouragement, and prayer. She loves refreshing your soul at...

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  1. “How is Jesus speaking to you?”

    He spoke to me today, through you. Thank you so very much for being an instrument in His hands today.

  2. Thank you so much for a word in season. Two years ago we began to foster our young nephew Mar 2010, he was in-between our girls who were 4 and 15mths at the time. This March that journey has begun to end – it has not gone as we hoped and dreamed. I have spent so much time trying to walk on the water in my own strength and God has so graciously allowed me to learn that sometimes we need to let Him carry us, that there are storms in our heart, only He has the power to quiet. It is ok, like Peter did to fall into the water – sometimes it is the only way we really learn that it is better to allow Him to be in control and relinquish the reins to Him. I don’t know how long it will be before I reach the other side of this particular journey, but I do know that He has come to me in ways I would have never been open to experience, but for the storm, and so I have reached a place of being grateful for the rain and the umbrella of His grace.

    Bless you and thank you for the encouragement today!

    • Oh, Aimee! My heart just aches for this long journey that has been so arduous for you and your family. I am lifting you and your young nephew up in prayer this morning, trusting Jesus is in control. Praying God’s peace to cover you this morning as He carries you to the other side.

  3. wow, I can’t even speak… I am so going through a major storm… today I took a walk and just gazing up to the sky I asked GOD to call me home… I was crying because life is just too much for me…. and he quieted my spirit as I saw a bird on my mailbox… that little bird that GOD provides for showed me he was not alone and neither was I… I can so relate to your post today… thank you so much for posting…. suddenly I feel as if GOD is reassuring me that HE is in control of everything and that HE’s got my back too… I am in a storm but HE is right beside me…. Thank you… thank you so much…. God Bless you…

    • Praying for you in your storm. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord”. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you”. He will bring you through this!

  4. Thanks, Bonnie. Many of us are going through storms and wonder how we’ll ever get through to the other side. We can’t “fix ourselves.” Only Jesus Christ can carry us! Oh, how we need him!

    “I have a great need for Christ; I have a great Christ for my need.” — Charles Spurgeon

    God bless you today. May he give you the inner confidence and trust that he will indeed carry you through!

  5. Thanks Bonnie! Its seems that where one journey to the other side has ended another has begun! I suppose that’s what life is isn’t it? A series of journeys.

    Where am I at in my journey between head and heart? Funny you should ask that as I have just entered into a new relationship with a wonderful godly man. Someone I have been praying for years that God would put in my life. A man who loves God more than himself and more than he could ever love me! Its a brand new relationship and its been years since my divorce. Its been years since I’ve had ‘butterflys’ circling around inside my head and heart, just by thinking of this person. So my journey between my head and heart is that I will stand true to the boundaries I set for myself even before meeting this person! I do not want fleeting emotions and hormones to take over and destroy what my heart says is right!

    Lisa

  6. I am so glad to know that I am not in that boat alone and appreciative of the reminder that He’ll be in the boat when it gets to rough…
    We lost a baby a couple months back at 5 months along and we have been working through the healing process also from walking away from what we have sown our lives into the last 12 years….it’s a strange place to be, questioning so many things…learning that so much we thought was truth isn’t, hurt by those we trusted to lead us, and having our faith shaken with the baby… The waters are tumultuous but peace is starting to come…I feel like I was clinging onto the side of the boat with all my might but that now I am simply holding on (that being a good thing)–that I can open my eyes now and see where I am even if I can’t see where I am headed…
    Your words are beautiful and they have inspired and encouraged me gor today. Thank you!

    • Jody, that is absolutely heart-breaking and encouraging beautiful. You are not alone. We are all here hanging onto together. Be kind to yourself in this season of tears, healing and recovery. *hugs* Thank you for sharing this moment with us.

    • Jody,

      I will pray for you… I myself lost a baby to early miscarriage a little over two years, ago. I can’t imagine being further along…in your shoes. I, too, have felt the same…clinging to the side. Just this year, I have opened my eyes, let HIS light begin to fill my dark places. I’m sitting on the side of the boat, now. Beginning to trust, again. The shelter of the Lord feels safe. There’s a nice dry spot next to me, under HIS wing… I don’t know you, but love you. I am right there with you, but above all HE is going to tell us both what the next move will be and when. Just wait… Again, I love you, sister. HE loves us, Oh how HE loves us…

      Jen

  7. I’m out there on the water. I had been keeping my eyes on Jesus, but the last couple of days I started to sink into depression and negativity. I am on the stormy waters of my heart. This healing process has been rough, but between bible study and your post I know that my word for the year, water walking, was correctly discerned. He knows we are out there, and He knows when we have had enough. See you in the boat!

    • Melinda — He will carry us no matter what. My hugs are reaching across the digital space.. and so are many here who are reading and understanding! May God’s very presence assure you of His comfort and faithfulness no matter what!

      • Hallo,

        Dank voor de heerlijk bemoedigende woorden.
        Is deze site ook in een goede vertaling te bezoeken??
        Ik hoop dat het lukt deeze mail te verzenden.

        C.

  8. Just what I needed to hear.
    I too, am at a place right now, where I can feel the waves licking at my feet. I just want to get in the boat. Storms can be scary….and yet, He is there with me. I know safety in this storm of life. Thank you, Jesus!

  9. Bonnie, thank you for your msg today! It’s TIMEly! I’ve just taken a decision today which was a battle between head & heart. I lingered over the pros & cons and used my God given analytical abilities to the hilt! Result : Still no decision. The reason being I was afraid to surrender the consequences of my decision. What might happen? what is the IDEAL way to deal with this. In speaking with close counsel, I slowly realised, and with prayer, that I needed to surrender and just move ahead – based on where/what I ‘needed’ to go/do vs where/what I ‘wanted’ to go/do. In doing that, I realised I needed to accept a job at a company where the culture is something I need getting used to. I realised I needed God’s strength every step of this journey. I guess God needs to build my character as I’m moving along. So in the end, my head & heart collaborated – my head logically noting down the pros & cons & matching it to what my heart said I needed to be/do as of this point in time.

  10. Bonnie – Thank you for the awesome post! You put into words what my heart is feeling right now. I have recently moved due to a terminal illness and needed to be closer to family. However, upon closer consideration (after moving) I found that God wasn’t through with me yet. The many medications I was on for many illnesses have currently gone to the wayside; I decided after much prayer that if my Lord wanted to do a work in my life I wasn’t going to gloss over the rough spots with medications. It’s been a bumpy ride the last few weeks but as I continue to walk through this storm of life and adjust, I am feeling hope as never before. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Your posts are always a blessing to me. 🙂

  11. This reminds me that in spite of the circumstances of our lives, He is there in the storms and calms the raging seas! I have to trust which is often hard when I focus on the storm rather than the peace that passes all understanding. It helps to keep my eye on the prize and take every thought captive rather than let my emotions carry me away to places that take my focus off Him and I become self-focused. Thank you for our gifted writing and sharing it with the world,

  12. Wow – amazing how God works. In my blog post today I spoke about wanting this leg of my journey to be over – I want to be on the other side….Thank you for this post, it has encouraged and eased my heart!

  13. I am in the middle of one of the biggest trials of my life. I take walk breaks 2 or 3 times a day to refocus. I get in my head all of the time. I get stuck there until my head is swimming, I’m nauseous and confused. Then, I see something in nature and am reminded of God’s beauty. His grace. His son who died for me so I could live and enjoy my life. I feel calm again. More confident. He speaks to me through nature and encouraging blog posts like this one that reminds me I’m not alone. That I’m figuring it out with Him right beside me. If i focus on Him, I’ll make it through. I wrote a long journal entry myself this morning on this…being too stuck in my thoughts and not focusing on Him. Bless you….

  14. Thanks for this Bonnie, I’m on a journey to recovery from the affects of growing up in a household with an alcoholic (my dad) and an abuser (my mother). This reminder of Jesus journeying with me has helped me a lot today.

    Thank You!!!!!!

  15. yes. I am on a journey, too. Thank you, Bonnie, your words are an encouragement. Thank you for reminding us that we can’t figure it all out, and that if we make a mistake, Jesus will carry us to the right place where He is leading us. He is in control, not us.

  16. Thank you for writing this. I am in a friendship that is baffling me. We were so close, or at least I thought. I even considered asking her to be my son’s Godmother. For awhile now, things have just been unraveling. We have been leading a children’s group together, and it just might have killed our friendship. I have tried talking with her, and it just gets worse. I am suspecting there might be some bipolar issues at work, too. I am stuck between being merciful and setting good boundaries. Sometimes I think I need to just put some distance between us, but I find it so hard to let go of the relationship we had–and our lives overlap through our children and church so much that the pain and frustration just go on and on. Your words encourage me to leave it in Jesus’ hands instead of trying to fix, fix, fix.

  17. I’m feeling lost in the storm right now. Feeling completely directionless. I thought I knew the next step to take but no I’m not so sure. Like you I have to step out of the boat and trust in Jesus. Not easy when for most of my life I’ve relied only on myself. Easier that way no disappointments, well only In myself.

  18. Oh Bonnie… Thank you for this post! It reall spoke to my heart this morning. I don’t think it’s ironic at all that I live in Georgia and have been caught in those mountain rainstorms.

    So yes, spiritually, I am currently caught in a pretty crazy storm between my head and heart. It’s pouring, and I feel like I am just standing in the middle of it, looking towards heaven, asking God why I forgot my umbrella.

    Thank you for the reminder that Jesus is in this storm with me… Holding my hand, offering shelter in Him.

  19. strange…I spent my entire evening last night fighting my storm – trying to see through the sheets of rain. I prayed that someone would call me so I had someone to talk to. My prayer was left unanswered. I prayed that I could just sleep it off…again, that prayer was unanswered. I prayed for clarity and peace…another unanswered.

    Honestly the only thing that is pulling me through this storm is knowing that God will pull me through. I don’t necessarily WANT to continue but I know there will be an end eventually.

    But it certainly hurts pretty bad right now.

  20. This is exactly what I needed to read today…I guess Jesus spoke to me through you this morning 🙂 A beautiful, beautiful post!

  21. Dearest Bonnie,

    Today God is speaking through your words to my heart. The storms have gotten rough, I don’t see Jesus in the midst of my storm very easily. Betrayal of loved one, unjustly accused and fired just last week, husband’s health issues….

    I needed the reminder that Jesus is there carrying me. Thank you dear friend.

  22. That’s a beautiful story! I love hiking down mountain paths where you see so many beautiful scenes along the way. I’ve never hiked alone. One day, I may try that. I can remember a canoe trip–my very first. I went with my husband and his brothers. There were many mishaps–our canoe overturned rounding a curve over a rocky spill, we ran under branches overhanging the stream sending all sorts of creepy crawlies cascading into the canoe, AND banged into a rock where a SNAKE lay sunning himself. Then…it began to rain. By that time, I was tired and scared. Dear God…please don’t let there be a terrible storm also. A few feet down the stream, the sun reappeared and the shower retreated. We made it to our destination point, and I’ve never been so tired in my life except when we hiked Dolly Sods in West Virginia….but that’s another story. 😀

  23. Oh my goodness…you have no idea how much I needed to hear these exact words at this exact time this morning. God is so good and His timing is perfect. thank you! 🙂

  24. Thank you so much for this story and for the reminder that Jesus will carry us through all the storms in our life. I am currently in one of those huge storms and have caught myself late at night trying to “think” my way thru. I realize it isn’t possible for me to find the answer on my own. I have to turn it over to God and let him bring the good out of the bad that I am experiencing now. Your story has given me that much needed reminder to stop trying to “fix” it myself but to simply rest in the arms of Jesus.

    Grace and Peace to you all:-)

  25. Me, too….on that head//heart journey. Feeling it’s time to go back to work in a small way (after 7 years off with the triplets.) The head says “back to the classroom, the familiar ground that you are so used to and prepared for” and the heart says “off to the other side of the mountain, to paper and pen and maybe something completely new.” My husband agrees with my head (bless him, he’s been patient these last 7 years, remembering how I used to bring home a lot of bacon, too 🙂 Only Jesus and I agree with my heart. When I’m stuck in that tug of war, I remind myself of past storms that He has taken us safely through, unfolded a path when there was nowhere to take the next step. He’s amazing like that, time and time again. I’m very sure that in a little while, I’ll be able to look back on this fork in the road and see how He led us on the right path once again. What feels like angst now will soon be another chapter in the testimony He’s writing for me to share.

  26. Thanks for the reminder. I’m keeping this for the late nites with a newborn baby and a cranky toddler that we seem to be in the middle of right now. 🙂

  27. Bonnie, it is so wonderful to read your posts! I’ve been through so many storms in my life that I have often described my life as a tornado in a blender. Somehow I made it through and will continue, with Jesus, to get through future ones. Sometimes I feel lost at sea with no oars in my boat. I never realized that Jesus is sitting in the same boat with me because I am too busy focused on the situation, instead of Him. I need to be reminded of that. Thanks so much for writing.

  28. After a restless night, this is exactly what I needed to read. I am in the midst of a storm that keeps starting and stopping it seems. It’s probably because I keep climbing over the edge of the boat that Jesus is in…following my head instead of my heart that is firmly planted in Him.
    So thankful that He thinks enough of me to meet me in my storms. I may be soaked through and through, but at least He has protected me from getting struck by lightening as well.
    🙂

  29. That storm between the head and the heart, I often refer to that as when I am being my own worst enemy, and the battle within is coming from my own war with myself and negative influences and lies that I shouldn’t let impact me. But, whether it is my own personal storm between head and heart – or one that is coming from outside, trusting God is the solution for both storms, and I wouldn’t want to go through one without Him. And we don’t ever have to be without Him, praise the Lord! He is with me always, in the storm and taking me through the storm.

  30. Thank you, Bonnie. Your story reminds me of a similar experience I had on a late night on a mountain in Montana walking through the dense forest with dead flashlight batteries and grizzlies in the area. I believe that I met Jesus during that walk. I am going through a battle presently that Jesus is helping me through. I am writing the story of my life. I have been through more than anyone I have ever met, not that I feel that I am anyone special, but my experiences have left me humbled by the awesomeness of God and his power to see me through 106 relocations, 2 molestations, 2 rapes, 3 stepfathers, 3 threats on my life, domestic abuse, and 4 husbands–including marriage to an armed robber, rapist, and confessed murderer. I advertise myself as “An emerging writer with a lot to say” and I am currently working on setting up my own website. I can only hope that my words will be as valuable and beautiful as yours and that I may profess the glorious awesomeness of the Lord. God bless you.

  31. I love to hike and used to go by myself all the time. My dad used to get after me saying it was dangerous for a young woman to be out in the woods hiking by herself. I understood his father’s heart but I was a pretty brave, fearless young woman. I wonder where that woman went. These days I am filled with anxieties and fears about so many things, which contradicts my faith and belief in a God who can do all things. Nevertheless, he does have me stretching my wings in ways that I never have before. I feel like he has me on a journey leading me back to the me He created me to be, and maybe that is why the journey can be so turbulent. You are so brave for being out there in the rain.

  32. Beautifully written, I saw that story a different way than I ever had before. I love the fact that he watches as we head out on our journey, fully confident that He has us securely in His hands. He is the calm that comes after us when we feel that the storm will overtake us. How beautiful picture of our Savior….saving us always. Thank you for this!!!!

  33. Stuck between having to fix everything………… or not wanting to be involved at all because I feel so helpless………………. but, as you say:

    He comes to us.

    In our storm.

    He’ll get us back in the boat.

    He will get us to the other side.

    We will marvel, you and I. Astonished and full of stories to share.

    Thanks so much……. 🙂

    • Karen, I can so relate to what you’re saying: “wanting to fix everything and not wanting to be involved at all”. Marital problems, prodigal daughter that’s 21, lie pressing in. I’m trying to hold onto Gods promises that He will never leave me or forsake me and yet somedays a harder than others. Hang on tight to Jesus!

  34. It’s amazing how your words rang so clearly to my heart this morning. For a bit now I’ve been so content in where God has me, I’ve enjoyed the ride and honestly wondered what He had up His sleeve for me next. After all, once peace comes, so does something to rock the boat and draw you closer to Him. And it hit. Just yesterday in fact. My boss pulled me aside and mentioned that he’s had a number of people come to him concerned that I am unhappy. Unhappy! Really?! I’ve not been happier in my life and in where God has me. But what it has done is give me a swift kick in the pants to take a look at where the disconnect is, where God is leading, and has even had me considering moving into a different position…and it hasn’t even been 24 hours! The boat’s been rocked, the storm between my mind and heart is raging, and there is Jesus…in the midst of it all, working something greater out in my life than I can even fathom. I’m just holding on to Him and following what He is asking! So thank you for your words today…very timely!

  35. Between heart and head…what is there? All the apparatus God has provided for us to *breathe*…breathe in His presence and know that it is only His life in us that makes it possible for us to integrate the head and the heart.
    So thankful for your lovely post this morning, Bonnie, and hope that the book writing is going well…can’t wait to read a whole *bookful* of what God is revealing in and through your life!

  36. I truly enjoyed your post and your story. It is always good to remember that Christ is right there beside us. No matter how hard things seem, he is there.

  37. Wonderful perspective and teaching, lots of storms I just read about here remind me to pray. So much power in prayer! Thanks Bonnie for inspiring and encouraging others. We all have times of this great need. Have a blessed day!

  38. believe me, and THANKS I NEEDED THIS TODAY ESPECIALLY. It has been raining up a storm for too long. I need to be astonished that jesus will get in this boat with me. As things are ONLY JESUS can fix our terrible OLD AGE financial situation.

    I AM SO GLAD THAT EVEN AT MY AGE OF 78 I CAN FIND COMFORT AND HOPE ON THIS SITE. GOD WAS HELPING WHEN I SIGNED ON TO HOLLY’S PAGE THAT ALSO LEAD ME TO in courage. pray for us please. and thank you HOLLY.
    MARIE-ARIEL

  39. Thanking you so very much for these words you have written for my heart and others, as I was so touched! We are going thru a storm in our family, trying to be able to have visitation with my little great-grand-daughter, 2 1/2, then custody, and we need God’s strong arms to lean on. I have peace that I know God has given me – that we must be patient and trust, and let Him do His work! Amen!! She loves Jesus and He loves her – He is truly in control!

  40. I like this post, thank you. I really need wisdom from God in my financial situation at the moment. Need to know whether there are steps He wants me to take, or whether He just wants me to keep doing what I’m doing. Would really appreciate any prayers.

  41. Also thankful you didn’t get struck by lightening that fateful day in Georgia, Bonnie! And thankful for your post. I’ve missed your writing. Jesus has been my way back into so many different boats. I wish I’d remember that when each storm brews. However, I always have to go through “me” first–stubborn and with so little faith, like Peter it seems. But Jesus is infinitely patient with us. I appreciate your reminder today.

  42. I loved this post. I could picture you wet like a little “duck” waiting for the rain to stop and the storm to cease. I loved the part when you decided to go at it and head back home. Sometimes that’s all it takes.
    I have been in a storm of my own making for 3 years now in my marriage.
    My head says “move on”
    My heart says “be still & remain here for i am working in you something so amazing that if I told you, you wouldn’t believe it!” lol
    I pray my husband and I reconcile. I pray the Lord in His mercy and love draw us back to Him and to each other.
    Whatever the outcome, Jesus will remain constant, faithful & true & just.
    Your post uplifted me.
    Thank you,
    Adaykis

  43. The Lord is awesome in how He encourages through many different ways—a post like this one I’m responding to, His Word, a song…He is constantly pursuing me, relentless. It encourages me to know I’m not alone and even to read of one whose struggle is similar to mine–a broken but very dear relationship. Same kind of issues as Mandy’s and even though I know separation is the best thing, my heart hurts so much.

  44. Thanks for sharing Bonnie!! It put new words to something we’ve been experiencing. Stuck between head and heart…that’s where we are walking right now!
    To be completely content in where we are now, and completely willing to be “anywhere else” that He might desire us to be, is the discussion we hadjust last night.
    In some ways, we’re trying our first steps out on the water. We CAN stay here the rest of our lives, and continue with the things He has set before us….but is that the best way to glorify Him? Is NOW the time that He would want us to “GO” (as in the Great Commission sense of the word)? Or is this just a side step? Giving us options to trust Him in new ways? Of course, it’s ALL a new lesson, sailing unchartered waters – walking new paths….and we’ll continue to walk and pray as He leads us along!

  45. Jesus is speaking to me and saying you are made for more, do more and have more.
    I truly believe that I am only starting to see how great my life is going to be with God in complete control of my life. I love Jesus more than I ever have today because of a three year storm I was in.

  46. You are a very Faith filled,courageous woman. I too love Jesus so much and yet I don’t feel worthy of his Love for me at this time in my life.People close to me don’t believe as strongly and fervently as I do. I am trying to do it all and feeling like a failure. I am in my storm period.Several bolts of lightning flash.My head and heart hurt because I want to make all right.It’s hard to be the one who wants Jesus in every second of the day,every breath as is true and others believe as long as one is a good,honest person,all is okay.A tiger can’t turn into an Ocelot.I need help,so I thank you for your writing as I have more hope to carry on and have courage.God Bless<3

    • Mary,
      After reading your comment I couldn’t just sit idle and not reply. I am sorry you are in a storm period of your life right now. I am praying that God will hold you in the palm of his hand and comfort you. You don’t have to do it all – hand it over to him…there is only so much we can do in our own strength. You are not a failure – you are fearfully and wonderfully made and Jesus loves you unconditionally. Our pastor Max Lucado, has a wonderful sermon series right now entitled “You’ll Get Through This” Here is the link if you’d like to check it out: http://oakhillschurch.com/media-2/

  47. My head and heart fight it seems theses days all of the time. i like you Bonnie want to turn around when i have come far on something. I struggle with time to be alone with God and when I do, it seems like i draw a blank and i don’t know what to do. But i trudge on and sit there and just listen in silence. Then i just begin to read my Bible.

  48. Wonderfully insightful post@

    My “journey” right now is my job. Learning to be content where God has placed me. It is hard–I want something different and He seems to be saying “stay here for now”.

    Just trusting and praying to Jesus for clear answers to everything!

  49. My beloved husband went to heaven to be with God 4 1/2 yrs. ago.
    Since I was 26 (I am 59 now) I have had 5 spine surgeries. My most recent one was on January 31. I had 8 hrs. of spine surgery and spent 2 1/2 days in ICU.
    I checked myself into the hospital alone, was in a room alone for 10 days, had no visitators, only a few phone calls and have had a few setbacks since coming home. One of them was that I developed an infection in my incision and had to go back in the hospital for another week. In order to rehab my back, I am to walk as much as possible. All the walking caused my second setback, my left knee became swollen and hot and extremely painful. I could not put any weight on it. I went and had it x-rayed and it is bone scrappng onto bone. I will eventually have to have a total knee replacement. The doctor drew off three inches of fluid off my knee and gave me cortisone shots.
    I have had to rest it & put ice packs on it and therefore the rehab on my spine has been put on hold for awhile.
    I can’t help but wonder where are my friends?
    I bought myself flowers the other day and had them delivered to myself since I have been in the dumps lately.
    For an active person, it is hard to sit still and take care of myself when I am the one that is usually taking care of other people.
    But all in God’s time not mine but his!!!!!!

    Dnise

  50. Bonnie your post made me think of another time Jesus met the disciples on a lake in a storm. From John 6… 16 When evening came, his disciples went down to the lake, 17 where they got into a boat and set off across the lake for Capernaum. By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. 18 A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough. 19 When they had rowed about three or four miles,[b] they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were frightened. 20 But he said to them, “It is I; don’t be afraid.” 21 Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.

    It’s the last part that I remembered but have never really paid attention to before. IMMEDIATELY THE BOAT REACHED THE SHORE. When I can’t imagine how in the world I’m going to get from point A to point B I can remember sometimes Jesus just does it and I don’t have to know how He’s going to. I just have to trust that somehow He will.

  51. Thank you Bonnie for your wise words and examples…our family is walking through a bewildering time right now. Seems like we can’t hear or see God anywhere right now as we have some major decisions to make. I SO appreciate your words of encouragement that God indeed is walking with us and even carrying us…

  52. I just wanted to share with you how much this post today meant to me. First, thank you for writing this and allowing God to speak through you. I so needed to hear it. I feel like I have been in the midst of the storm for so long… My marriage has been far from ideal. My husband has worked a job that requires him to be gone for most of the nearly-10 years we’ve been married (first it was the Military, now he’s a civilian but still lives on the road 9+mos out of the year, home most weekends.) We have had a very turbulent relationship over that time, and I just feel so lost and desperate to know what God wants from and of me.

    We have several children, which I am essentially raising on my own, and it’s very hard sometimes to just get through the day. This morning, for instance, I woke up to find a couple of my younger daughters had gotten into my nail polish and “decorated” the floor with a few bottles of it. Every day it’s something else, sometimes many things piled on top of each other. And I have felt so alone.

    Thank you for reminding me Who I need to look to in the midst of the storm, instead of just hunkering down and trying that much harder myself. Thank you for reminding me that He isn’t just a small figure on a distant shore watching our struggle… He is here, right in the midst of it with us. And that despite the fact that I can’t feel His arms around me, I know He loves me. He is always faithful, steadfast, and True. <3

  53. Struggling through a very difficult decision – recently uncovered some wounds and foundational issues in my relationship with my fiance and are seeking counsel about where to go from here. We may be postponing the wedding. I feel so caught between my head and my heart – I love him, but there are some really substantial issues. It’s a painful, painful time. Please pray for us to have wisdom.

    • I’ll be praying too. It is far far better to deal with those now before you get married than have to go through the same thing for years afterwards. 🙁 Believe me, I know. I was made aware of some things only a week before I got married, and by then I felt it was too late to postpone (how could I, when everyone had bought their plane tickets, made hotel reservations, *everyone* would be out a ton of $) but if I had known then how much pain the years would bring, and that we would *still* be struggling years later… it would have been worth it. God bless, and give you wisdom and discernment to know how to proceed. *hugs*

      • Thank you, Buttafly. Your words met me where I needed to hear them. We made the difficult decision to cancel the wedding last night. We were supposed to get married three weeks today. We are going to get some professional Christian counselling and see what happens from there.
        Thank you, Donna, for your prayers.

  54. Thanks Bonnie! Sometimes we forget that He sees everything and is always with us. What’s even more awesome about our great big God is that He never wastes our experiences. He uses everything to help us grow closer to Him and to make us holy, just as He is holy.

    I appreciate this reminder and I pray that He will continue to bless you. Thanks for being obedient.

  55. Today’s devotion was God speaking tender words of love and encouragement to me. I love how He does that at just the right time. On Feb. 11, 2012, my husband Dave and I began a journey that we would never have imagined or chosen. He has been hospitalized at Vanderbilt University Medical Center almost continually since that day. At first the doctors thought he had had a stroke, but for nearly 6 weeks his mental and physical status continued to decline. On March 25, after a second (or maybe third) MRI, I was told that what they thought was a clot from a stroke they now think is a tumor. Dave has been in Neurology Intensive care, where they put a drain inside his head to release the pressure build-up from too much fluid. And just two days ago I was told that due to the location in the brain – the thalamus, a biopsy is too dangerous.
    We are in the storm… at moments I feel like I am drowning in grief and despair – but He is my strength and courage – each day for the last 7 weeks I have said “God is in control!!”
    I’m not sure how long it will take to get to the other side, but YES! Jesus, my Saviour and my God is with me and with us. This storm will end but until then Jesus is in our boat loving on us as only He can do.
    I have reflected on the recent days and know that the only hope we have is in Christ our Lord. Thank you so much for your powerful words of encouragement today. I just wanted you to know how much your devotion ministered to me, and it just amazes me how He uses stories like yours to give me strength at just the right times. To the cross I cling…. The song “Forever Reign” is another way the Lord has loved on me through this time. God bless you as you open your heart to His glorious truths.
    In Him – forever Marlene

  56. my husband left me in august after being together for 21 years. he left me for my best friend of 26 years. i turned back to my bible and god and have left it in his hands praying for his will to be done. hoping his plan for me returns my husband to our home and marriage, your emails along with numerous others from crosswalk.com and divorcecare.org

  57. Oh Bonnie, I’m in the middle of the storm and trying to figure out how I can control it! Your message was so important to me today. I need to remember that Jesus takes us out into these storms and He will bring me back into the boat–in His time. But He is there with me.
    Thank you so much for this post.
    Blessings,
    Janis

  58. I love your stories because I can relate to the struggle between my head and my heart. I have been through many storms as well but never envisioned or thought of God getting into the boat with me. I know God has brought me to the shore and has seen me through these storms, but your story made me realize that God did get into the boat with me. That is such a powerful image!

    Have a most blessed Easter!

  59. Is it okay if I am wondering in my 30s whatever happened to my mother and me? I am a mother of a three year-old now and for some reason I can’t stand my mom and her ways towards my daughter, my husband and me.
    I have always felt something about us – is it because she sent me to be raised by my grandparents and single aunt? Is it because one day she told me my father and her were not expecting me and that I was an accident? Is it because she did not christen me because she was waiting for things to get better between my father and her and they never did.
    When we were together she would confide in me things she didn’t like about my sister, now that my sister lives abroad my sister is the best person alive, “Such a good human being.”
    My sister married her boyfriend, while I met some guy when I was 33, got pregnant, ran away from home to live with my boyfriend and we are still together 4 years later. My mother and sister say, “Don’t marry him!” How can my closest family suggest not to marry the man I love, the man who supported me when no one else did?
    Most of the things I’ve done have been against my mother’s and sister’s will – all in the yearning of finding things for myself: learn to drive, buy a car, get a job, a man who loves me …
    I am happy, but I am hurt because my mother and sister don’t believe in me.

  60. Thanks so much for this, Bonnie–love it! So glad that God brought you through your storm, safely to the other side! And so true–we all find ourselves torn between our heads and our hearts at times, and we all need to be carried by Jesus! Thank you for this beautiful reminder that we’re all in that boat together! Hope all is going well with your book! Blessings!

  61. In all his teachings he tells us that he speaks to our hearts, not our heads, so we just need to stop overthinking things (easier said than done, as I just struggled with this concerning a particular relationship).

  62. This was such an encouragement to me because it helped explain what God meant. Has God ever spoken to you but you didn’t understand what His words meant?

    I was driving home from my daughter’s house and a bad storm arose. I was driving along one lonely stretch of country road and the trees on either side were bent over the road. It seemed that I was driving through a dark tunnel with a storm raging all around. I just my eyes on the road in front of me and kept going forward. Then, I heard His voice, “Your life is going to be like this, but I am going to carry you through every storm.” I did not like the part about a “stormy” life but it felt good to know that God would be with me and get me “back in the boat” and go with me to the other side.

  63. I’m currently in the start of my divorce. My storm is huge right now. As I am not able to allow myself to be around him or speak to him. What he has done to our family is wrong. He has hurt me beyond repair. He is acting like he is already divorced and that’s wrong. I need to let Jesus take the wheel, but don’t know how to.

  64. I’m currently in the start of my divorce. My storm is huge right now. As I am not able to allow myself to be around him or speak to him. What he has done to our family is wrong. He has hurt me beyond repair. I need to let Jesus take the wheel, but don’t know how to.