About the Author

Lisa Leonard is mom to two boys, David, 13 and Matthias, 12 and wife to Steve. In between school and work they spend their time playing outdoors on the central coast of California, eating chocolate chip pancakes, tapping tunes on the piano (David) and choreographing elaborate light saber duels (Matthias)....

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  1. This is such a cute post. What a fun idea. This post has encouraged me to try more! We do not have children yet and I still find myself getting too caught up in little tasks such as dishes, chores, laundry, etc when in reality I can EASILY take some time to stop and enjoy my husband.

  2. I was just thinking about something similar to this last week. It is such a great idea, one that can bee incorporated into every day. I have a feeling that me seeing this today is God’s way of telling me to get my hind end in gear.
    Thank you!

  3. I love this! My husband and I are going on a trip soon with the kids so I’m thinking it’s a perfect chance to pretend we’re newlyweds!

  4. Love this! I definitely need to try more. It’s such a challenge with us both working FT jobs (rarely having the same schedule), managing a household, raising an almost 2yo and having quiet time with God- something seems to always fall through the cracks and sadly it’s usually our time with each other. I need to live my life reflective of the correct priority sequence with my husband being second (only to God). Since we have a little one, my hubby is usually third ): But I digress!

    Thank you for the reminder! (:

  5. I have been divorced for 2 years now, but I totally agree with what you experienced. Our thoughts and actions increase how we feel-connect with one another.

  6. I love this and thank you for sharing. My husband and I still hold hands and still kiss each other good-bye (sometimes several times). Our lives are busy, but we know we always have each other, and it is noticeable. I’ve been so surprised by how many people have told me ‘how great we are’ as a couple. God brought us together and keeps us together. We have no secrets (except when gift-giving or other surprises might be involved), and I believe that open communication keeps us together. “Love one another, as I have loved you.”

  7. I know exactly what you mean by “pretending and then it happens…the connection.” I do that sometimes with my husband and am always “awe struck” by the impact. The effects last long. I always tell myself to purpose in my heart to be like this more if not strive for it daily, but dang-on it, I forget. I forget until of course we’re alone on a trip or in the kitchen cooking together, then it hits me … I remember!

  8. Every day we take time to be in love. We snuggle on our couch and watch tv – usually with me laying on him.

    Before work each day we hug and kiss goodbye. On weekends we make “Snuggle” time for that and discussing important items. No tv, phone, internet, etc.

    Couples need to do this more often as it helps cement a good relationship. I wish more people made time weekly – daily, if possible to say “I love you”, send an e-card, or just hug and kiss now and then.

  9. How cute. I’m glad that you guys had a good trip and that pretending led to a great reminder for you. We try to make a point of going out of our way to show each other that we love each other on a consistent basis.

  10. Hooray – Lisa is back! I have missed you over here and so happy to read your words and feel your heart!

    this so absolutely true and so needed in a marriage after several years and kids!
    thank you!! And yes, interestingly, my husband and I have been working on this lately!
    pray for us – I am praying for all of you and your marriages!!

    xoTiffany

  11. I love this idea! What a lovely way to bring romance to the forefront of your marriage. Meanwhile, I am totally sending this to my husband 😉

  12. My husband and I do this, but we’ve just been married a shade over a year. It’s actually one of the things that I fear will go away if (once?) children come. They seem to pull you in so many directions and it seems to be away from one another!

    We didn’t even kiss before we were married, so for, us, marriage and kissing go hand-in-hand. In my mind, the physical affection stuff can be a tool for bringing you closer together emotionally. Likewise, the emotional stuff can be a tool for bringing you closer together physically.

  13. My husband and I went on a business trip a month a go and did a similar thing. I was great to be just a couple again.

  14. Thanks for sharing! This is such a good reminder, and hopefully “pretending” evolves into “being”. My husband and I had a crazy busy week last week and remedied it by planning a special date night for the weekend. Marriage takes effort, but it’s so worth it!

  15. This is so sweet. Obviously I’m not married, but i have friends who complain to me a lot. One was talking about how her husband doesn’t… fill in the blank. It doesn’t matter. And I told her to start acting like she has the marriage she wants. If she wants him to kiss her when he gets home, get up and kiss him when he gets home. If she wants flowers, surprise him with some. She started doing it and – shockingly to a girl who had no idea what she was talking about – it totally worked!

    I love that you lived the marriage you want. It’s so much better than just waiting to see if the other one figures it out 🙂

  16. Oh my gosh!!Today is our 26th wedding anniversary….what wise words to read especially today.
    thank you for sharing.

  17. My husband and I have been married 15 years. It is not unusual for strangers to ask if we are newlyweds. 🙂

  18. Hi Lisa — this is so great 🙂 I love the newlywed feeling and you’re right, it is the easiest way to fall back in love. That’s seriously so cute you said that to Steve.

    xoxo

  19. We all must be on the same wave length lately. Gussy did a blog about something the other day that I was talking about with my husband. And now yours:) My husband I were talking about how on the TV they always look so in love and want to be touching eachother all the time. We fell asleep feeling a little sad that we (I actually, he is very affectionate) need to kiss and hug more during the day. Talking about it for some reason makes me feel more lovey dovey:))

  20. Oh wow! I love this! Sometimes, even while on vacation, we can still be too busy for each other. I think I will try this on our next road trip. Or maybe I’ll try it just because! 🙂

  21. Need to do that RIGHT NOW actually 🙂 Only been married 2 years, but already noticing how its so easy to let the stuff of life creep in…. don’t you love Seattle 🙂 it’s my hometown;)

  22. I love this post. My husband and I set out to accomplish something similar and it is really amazing how much it helps. A marriage needs to be nurtured just as a child does but without the constant “Here I Am” that a child has it is easy to get lost in the shuffle.

    Sincerely,

    Julie

  23. I love this! It’s so easy to get caught up in caring for the kids and the household things. And it’s so easy to think, eh, he’s an adult, he understands. But then it’s bed time and I think…have I even kissed my husband today? It’s difficult to remember that I was his wife first, before I was the mother of his children…and I need to act like it, too.

  24. I love this. I recently read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s all about reconnecting and finding what is important to you about LOVE. My husband and I really reconnected after reading this. It’s about taking the time to sit on the couch with him and just be together. I felt like a newlywed after reading this book.

    There is a version addressing children also. It is so enlightening.

  25. Lisa, I love this post and your photos! Hubby and I got a chance to do a getaway weekend for his bday a couple week ago… and we did just this. Pretended we were newlyweds, without a care in the world. During the week, we have an “in” date night, snuggling on the couch with Netflix. 🙂

  26. I especially need to remember this because I’m not the huggy/lovie one–he is! When I don’t take the time, he starts to feel bad and left out! I definitely don’t want that!

  27. needed this today.
    we’re in the middle of moving from one state to another….
    needed to reminded to STOP and kiss my husband!

  28. […] Romance Alive Posted on 11.08.11 by Bekka Not too long ago, I was reading over at (in)courage about how pretending to be in love helped one couple renew their interest in each other.  I thought, what a great idea and I filed it away for later in our marriage when we might need […]