About the Author

I'm the mother of two little girls, the wife of an amazing husband who'd rather play the guitar than anything else and I love to write. I spend my weekends watching my daughters ride horses and play soccer. I blog daily and my greatest wish is to see women healed...

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  1. I have been in the middle of a 3 year long storm. I do not see the blue skies through the hail and the rain. I am a person who panics. I run and retreat and hide. I stuff feelings and emotions instead of face them.

    I think its possible the brunt of the storm is over now and I’m experiencing the backside of the front that has moved in on me. Its still dark and cloudy and raining but I think the hail is gone for now.

    TRUST is very hard. I’m learning a lttle more each day about it though. I went on a ‘retreat’ of sorts this weekend. A planned meeting with God for 3 days. Just me and him. I was determined to face the storm in my heart. Since we are using weather as a theme I guess I was a tornado chaser and I literally am terrified of severe storms let alone hear them actually say the “T” word on the weather! But I did it, I faced all the things in my head. I walked, talked, prayed, did a lot of writing and prayed some more. I threw something into the fire and watched it burn as I decided to give it to God.

    I woke up on Sunday morning, the storm had moved past me. No more lightening, no more hail, no more tornado sirens in my heart. I was exhausted but calm finally! I have such issue with trust that I am afraid it will start up again today but right now I’m okay so I will take it.

    I will TRUST HIM today and NOT myself.

  2. I did grow up in tornado alley. Although I moved up North 20 years ago I still have tornado dreams. I find them very sybolic of how I live my life. In the middle of my dreams when the tornadoes are coming I find myself trying to make sure that everyone else is okay. I worry that the people aren’t coming to safety. I cry and I scream for them to come with me and am so upset when they don’t. I wake up startled and my heart racing.

    In my real life I am a caregiver. When someone is in pain my whole body feels it. When something bad happens I feel myself spring into action. Not a bad thing I would like to think. But I also see through part of my dream my desire to control those around me…(ouch!!)

    This was an epiphany this morning. I think that I need to step back more and at times let others live through their tornados and not try to “save” them. Maybe I am standing in the way of their growth.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story…..

  3. Beautiful Sarah, I love seeing your face here this morning. You live with your heart wide open, taking it all in, listening for Jesus, and then you give it all back to us in ways that make us think, and pray, and change. Thank you, sweet friend!

  4. “All I could hear was the hail. All I could see was the black sky and feel the oppressive uncertainty of being drowned and battered by the storm.

    I didn’t know how beautiful the end could be because I’d never been there before. So I had to trust the One who had both created the storm and created its end.”

    This is where I am right now with one of my children. (I apologize ahead of time if you ‘ve read any of my comments before- this has been going on for a while in our family). Last night the clouds grew darker than ever and the hail was bigger than before. We and he are feeling oppressed and fear being drowned any minute.

    Thank you for this beautiful post. I know one day the blue skies will return. We’ve seen them before, but the clouds have been so thick this time that not much light has been able to get through. I keep wondering why God won’t let this storm end – and quickly – but I must trust and believe He’s designing a wondrous, cloud-parting end to this and pray it comes soon.

  5. i think i just started having an anxiety attack, sarah. dear lord.

    yes, yes and yes. all of those things.

    in…2002?…yes, at the beginning of june in 2002. we found out my grandma had acute mylogenous leukemia. she opted not to have treatment in order to enjoy her last days (a sweet surprise to me, actually – i still marvel that she was that confident and that brave). she died two weeks later on father’s day during the only 10 minute-period she had to herself the entire time she was bedridden. again, so brave, but not the point of this story.

    during that two-week period of everyone’s focus being on my grandma (my dad’s mom), my mom told us she was getting married. awesome news, but it was like the hurricane spun me in the opposite direction.

    and then to realize my mom would be moving from our hometown when i was used to seeing her every day was another blow.

    it was like all these things were happening around me that would affect me but i had absolutely no control over any of them.

    {by the way, after my mom got married over labor day that year, my granddad died unexpectedly before christmas and my dad was suddenly an orphan}

    and it was after we were given all of this news and before my grandma died that i had this image of a hurricane (i live in north carolina. just go with it.) and i was in the middle of the ocean and i was fighting the storm and drowning for it.

    and then i realized…that if i stop fighting and just float…then i wouldn’t drown. if i surrendered to the storm and the hurricane, then i would be safe in the vastness and the strength of the ocean.

    this was all before i got sober, before my dad died, before…before everything i have to draw from in my own story really begins…which is to say i’ve been through other storms since then. and this image and thought stays with me in those times. (which is *not* to say that i float with grace -or at all- in those times, just that i can access it if i think about it.)

    and like you experienced, the day is always -always- brighter and more beautiful because of it.

    thank you for sharing this story, sarah. i think i need to find someone with a xanax. for reals.

    xo

    • Wow, Mary. What I hear from your comment is that we are never really in control. Its difficult to be there and not be able to trust. i always, always appreciate your amazing comments!!

  6. Wow…thanks so much. It’s hard to see through the storm to what is on the other side…calmness and safety. But He is there waiting for us to come through. Actually, He’s carrying us in His hands through the thing in the first place. What a comfort!

  7. Those severe storms in life really get our attention. Our abject fear many times blinds us temporarily to our loving Father who is guiding the storm.

    I’ve been through my own personal tornadoes and hurricanes and can attest to releasing my own will and letting the waters carry me where He wills – it does work! My heart is now filled with peace instead of constant hand wringing terror because I know my Savior has my best interest at heart.

    Thank you for sharing, Sarah.

  8. storms are hard..i have been through a few in my life..and there are the days where i’m sort of stuck in my pit and there are days where I truly understand that it’s out of my hands and in the hands of God…

    I completely agree that going through storms helps you appreciate life after…all the things we take for granted..the air we breathe…the beauty of His majesty and all He has blessed us with..but also a way to deal with more storms and a way to help others get throught their storms…

    I still struggle when storms come, but always seem to come around…from california girl to another california girl …thanks for the encouraging words…

  9. Darn those storms. They come in and wreck everything.

    But…..the cleanup can make everything new. I like to remind myself
    that I can weather the storm with HIS help!

  10. Blinded by the storm? Oh Lord, yes. More times than I can count, but the time that is uppermost in my mind right now is the extremely difficult time I went through with two of my three daughters. For a time, they were each in the throes of their own adolescent nightmares, but fed off each other in a perfect storm sort of way. Our home was in spiritual chaos. They couldn’t even be in the same room with each other. Every day I was on the outer ledge of anxiety, wondering when the next explosion would come.

    Fast forward to the present time. They are young adults. They are each as lovely and pleasant to be around as they were horrible before. They are good friends and our family gatherings are love fests of laughter and gratitude. I would never have thought this possible. Talk about miracles!!

    Can I see light when clouds gather? I’ve gotten better at it as my faith has deepened. I’m quicker to turn things over to God and trust that all things work for good. I’ve learned that I am not in control and that that is a very good thing!

    • That is so encouraging Galen, my girls are 6 and soon to be 11. The fighting constantly started a little over a year ago! I pray that when they get through these years by some miracle they are close friends!

  11. I had got a desire to start my commerce, however I didn’t have enough amount of cash to do this. Thank God my close friend advised to use the mortgage loans. Hence I received the short term loan and made real my dream.

  12. I one time read a story about a woman stuck on the side of the road in her car in a remote location. She was miserable. But then said to herself that she would attempt to be thankful in spite of her predicament. So she openly began to list the things she was thankful for. Among them she amusing said, “I am thankful I am not stuck here in my pajamas.” I laughed out loud when I read that sentence and sometimes humor will get me through whatever it is I am going through. Although, my first reaction is often to panic and become frantic. Thankfully we have a God who is not panicking and is not frantic. Someone did come along and drive the woman to the nearest gas station where a tow truck just happen to pull into the station at the same time. She was able to get her car towed to the gas station and have it fixed.

  13. When the wind is howling, the rain is coming down sideways, and the sky is so dark you can’t tell the time of day, it appears as if everything is out of control. It is easy to forget that God is in control of all things, including the storms. Like you said, if He created them, He will bring it to its end. Even those more quiet storms where there may not be wind but the dreary rain just goes on for days. With each storm He has brought into my life I am learning to trust Him more. It’s not always easy to do, and I have a ways to go, but I am not as anxious as I used to be! Thank you for your post!