About the Author

Bianca Olthoff is an (in)courage alumni whoย spends most of herย time working as Chief Storyteller for The A21 Campaign, a global anti-human trafficking organization. By day she'sย a freedom writer who advocates for justice, but at night she'sย a step-mom who loves to have dance parties with Parker, Ryen, and Ricci [a.k.a. The...

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  1. Great post ๐Ÿ™‚ We can all slip into letting anger and jealousy get the better of us… and if it makes you feel any better, I’m 4′ 11″ and I’m 21 years old ๐Ÿ˜‰ Talk about needing a step-ladder to reach up into some cabinets! haha

  2. Oh, am I ever guilty of jealousy over other’s physical appearance. I am a tall woman at 5 ‘ 10″, but I still catch myself pining away for a different physique. One that didn’t resemble a 12 year old boy, one that didn’t have my un-feminine nose, one that didn’t have my birth defects.
    One thing that encourages me in this area is 1 Samuel 16:7:
    “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
    My heart isn’t perfect, but it is His!

  3. From another woman in 4″ heels… thank you for this post. There are so many days that I am green over the silliest things. It’s easy to forget we are all created in His image; what a blessing that is.

  4. Wow – what a great post!! I so know this horrible disease of jealousy! Especially desiring to be beautiful by the world’s standards. It’s pumped into our brains every where we turn.
    So thankful God does not see it – and His measuring stick is a beaten, bruised son on a Cross!! Isn’t THAT beautiful?!?!?!

  5. This verse keeps popping up in my life…interesting. I don’t think I have a particular problem with jealousy, but I’m going to let this scripture stand as a reminder of my need to be CONTENT with what I do have…
    Thanks, Bianca. I love your insight and humor. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. love the post! Yes I am guilty of jealousy, no matter how much I try to convince myself its not…whether it’s physical appearance or material things, or even when it comes to being jealous of how much faith a person has or how much fruit someone is bearing…man it feels worse when u right it out:)…but i like the verse that Kristen shared, it totally encourages me!

  7. @Raeann: Shorties unite!!! I love it ๐Ÿ˜‰
    @Kristin: You are so supportive and encouraging always. Thanks for the scripture reference!
    @Houston: We have a problem! Just kidding. I’m full of puns today… hope we are GREEN with envy today ๐Ÿ˜‰ I crack myself up.
    @Stef: Yes, THAT is beautiful.
    @Steph: Contentment is key. I’m still struggling with that. Maybe this is my thorn in the flesh. Eeeek, I hate that.
    @Christy: Thanks for your constant love and support! xoxo

  8. Love the post and boy can I relate! I actually just got over a situation that I was jealous of. I didn’t realize how jealous I was of my friend and it was causing me to retreat/withdraw from our friendship. Which is not cool. I was looking at what this friend has and what I don’t have and tried to compare as much as possible. I hate it when things like that happen! Since realizing my jealousy I have repented and moved forward. I also saw my need to stop comparing my success and where I am to others. I needed to get over myself! ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. This is so good because if we’re honest we do all experience this at some time or other. I know I certainly do! I love this last line:
    “One thing that encourages me in this area is 1 Samuel 16:7:
    “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
    My heart isn’t perfect, but it is His!”
    Amen sister!

  10. Do I really have to admit this? Okay…you asked…jealousy hits EVERYONE somehow, someway, some days. Sometimes it’s not the jealousy that bothers me–it’s the feeling inferior because I am not EVERYTHING I think I should be. God and I struggle with this quite a lot–always have. I just keep praying and pushing myself to do the things that scare me, and I’m not so sure I’m good at but want to try. That makes me feel better and helps me accept my not so perfect state. Perfection is an illusion anyway–some are better at the illusion than others…especially when you just scrape the surface.

  11. Love the post! I don’t get jealous often anymore as I’ve gotten better at accepting myself but when the green, jealousy monster comes out, boy she is strong!

  12. Ummm… yeh. Fantastic post. Growing up a black girl in a non black Vancouver. Aka: Not as skinny as the Caucasian and Asian girls. Oh, and with a more muscular body and not as slim/lean as I want to be. And let’s not talk about this career that I’m propelling myself into. Blah.
    But, I like what Kristen said. “My heart isn’t perfect, but it is His!” And for as long as I can remember, my mom has been quoting the following:
    I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
    Psalm 139:14

  13. And here I am, wishing I could be a couple inches shorter so my husband and I would have a greater height difference– no 4-inch heels for me! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  14. Great post Bianca. Although honestly I’d prefer to just pretend I didn’t read it and not deal with those icky convicted feelings your words have raised in me.
    K?
    So I’m putting my head in the sand now. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  15. @Becky: I’ve lost a friend over jealousy too. It’s horrible!!! But you hit the nail on the head: Get over yourself!
    @Kristine: “My heart isn’t perfect, but His is!” Best quote.
    @Dee: Hahahaha! I’m glad you admitted it too ๐Ÿ™‚ We all have been jealous, little girls at one time or another.
    @Lisa: You should post what you REALLY wanted to say ๐Ÿ˜‰ Should I post it for you? Hahahaha.
    @Christine: My problem is that I’m good at disgusing my green monster. But that makes the problem worse! Confession is good for the soul.
    @Ruthie: Give your mama a hug for me. Ok, guilty confession: I envy your arms. They’re like MADONNA’S.
    @Erin: Pass your height to me, girlfriend!!!
    @Alece: But I love your heart. And so does Africa! @ThriveAfrica is a movement from LOVE.
    @Michelle: If I had to pull my head out of the sand and announce it to the world, SO. DO. YOU.
    Love you, Mich!

  16. Dern it Bianca!
    You stepped right on my toes with those 4 inch heels! OUCH!
    I love your words! You rock, sister!
    Thanks for speaking in truth….on a topic that haunts us all!
    I needed that!

  17. It’s hard to even admit our jealousies….thank you for doing so with humor and for reminding us that we all falter and slip into little fits of jealousy here and there. Thanks for keeping it real!

  18. I’m right there with you girl, just standing an inch shorter! The girltalk blog is talking about this very thing right now–jealously, comparing.
    http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog
    I hadn’t realized how much I had fallen, especially this last week. Being at WPPI, surrounded by the world’s most amazing photographers, subconsciously I would compare myself to them and be envious of their success, their talent. It’s so wrong! I think the first step to recovery is to remove my eyes from myself and turn them to the cross. Life always gets out of whack when we focus on the wrong thing…one.

  19. I love this post. Because jealousy is this constant struggle for me – I hate it, but it feels like the harder I try NOT to be jealous, not to compare, the more I fail and fall right into it – so I need to figure out how to refocus my attention on what’s important, on Christ, on who He made ME to be – rather than focusing on NOT sinning and NOT thinking about the other person . . .

  20. thank you! i soooooo needed to hear this, i battle with this, mainly growing up looking different then everyone, i’m fairly tall, skinny, light brown, and ok, i was happy with myself until i got around guys, they liked me but i wasn’t short enough, or full-figured enough, i wasn’t this i wasn’t that.And girls hated me because i looked like a model. I was told i was ugly and less then because of this about their looks. Secertly i pined for these girls and their figures because the “man’ of my dreams didn’t want me, they wanted her. Needless to say it has caused me much heart ache trying to always be someone else, be right and not who or how God created me. well i can’t change how God made me. I am so glad I read this.

  21. Oh this was so good! Thank you for being honest. I too have felt jealous before…of other women for their looks and toward other writers…and it is really more about my issues with confidence…I needed this reminder. Thank you.